Super Sunday

fell asleep at 4am on sat.
got woken up at 10am by mom's weekly calls.
we spent 1.5 hrs, discussing, among other things,
how weird it is for husbands to shell prawns for wives in a 7 course dinner

if he shells a few here and there for her
it could be a loving gesture
but if he shells every prawn for her
its...weird.
(mom agrees)

good thing i don't eat prawns
so the social dynamics of prawn shelling don't bother me
------------------------

felt like going back to sleep
but had to go to the chinese restaurant
not really had to, just wanted to keep my word i guess
(Mr Spam-Me-50-smses will be so proud of me)

business at the restaurant on sundays is reaching maniac levels for a 3 man workforce
it's really non stop action for lunch hour
one customer leaves and another comes in

after lunch hour the lady boss always laments that the place looks like a war zone

saw quite a few se4 langs2 as well
where got pple buy food must shake hand with the lady boss one?
somemore not just shake, he practically groped her hand before leaving

then another one spoke so softly and looked at her like he's almost drooling
she's also quite sian and replied his fei4 hua4 softly
while i stood aside and laughed away

she told me of another ren2 yao1 who left her his number
the hubby added cheekily that attract ren2 yao1 so proud somemore
she got him to shut up.
------------------------------------

anyway
was feeling pretty tired and was planning to head home at abt 3pm to nap
blardy hell the tornado warning sounded just as i was going to leave
apparantly the remains of hurricane Rita was heading our way
like really our way.
OVER the town i'm in.

Hurricane Katrina hit land much closer to south alabama
and it's intuitive path would be to come our way
it did pass pretty close but far enough to not cause much damage

was just asking W the other day whether Rita would affect my upcoming flight
he looked at me like i was ridiculous
Hurricane Rita hit land pretty far from alabama
and intuitively, it should go on further and further away from us

sekali on sunday the centre of Rita turned right sharply.
not even curve right
turn right like 90 degrees turn and came straight for us

damn kana sai.

so the siren went off
just like those Civil Defense sirens back home
i was there with the chinese bosses wondering whether we should hide or cut vegetables
i switched the radio on and it did sound pretty bad

"this is a tornado warning, folks, not a tornado watch.
which means there is a very high possibility of a tornado developing over our county.
the storm is now just miles away from us and moving at 45 miles per hour.
already there are signs of circling clouds, the beginning of a tornado.
so this storm will reach us pretty quick
and if a tornado does develop
this is as much of an advance warning as we can give you
we recommend you take precautions and hide in a safe place
there is a public shelter provided at........."

the chinese bosses were excited but not panicking
they ride on the theory that ignorance is bliss
the last time in Tennesse, they rode through a tornado playing mahjong and sleeping
when they opened the door the next morning they realised the whole town was blown to a mess

anyway
since i was there this time to take away their ignorance and bliss
we decided to wait and see
if everyone runs we'll run
in the meantime
we cut vegetables

the winds outside was howling
trees and bushes swaying scarily
started raining
clouds moving quickly

some customers still came to buy food
we asked them for tornado tips
one told me it's easier to get into a car accident than get killed by a tornado
another said a tornado is such that it can blow your neighbour's house away and leave yours untouched
and if you're so unlucky to get a tornado coming directly to you
then suay lor

boss said if pple was still coming to buy chinese food
then it can't be that serious

the warning lasted for just abt the whole day and night
but fortunately nothing happened
one developed pretty close by
but not over our county
we just got lots of wind and rain

i can't believe Rita made a 90 degree turn
it's like nature trying to prove W wrong.

W: "Hurricane Rita affecting us? pfft!"
Rita: "let's turn right and prove W wrong!"

the remains of Rita is now moving toward Boston somemore
it's following my flight path!
kana sai.

i'm glad i was at the restaurant though when the siren went off
better than getting woken up and panicking like a headless chicken at home
---------------------------------------

dinner time was also pretty insane
a lot of customers, and each with huge orders
non stop action again
but profits for dinner were much higher
so i guess being busy is good

boss said the tornado must have blown everyone to the resaurant

an elderly chinese couple came over that night
they were good frens with the bosses and i've seen them a few times
i like them
they're old but the wife is very fiesty and energetic and funny

she asked if i had cable and if i could tape a show for her
i told her i had cable but no VCR
she thought for a while then exclaimed loudly that she has a tv-vcr combo at home and she'll get for me right now
boss told them not to drive in the rain and he'll get lady boss to drive
(they're quite kind)

they shouted up and down for a while and before i knew it the old couple was out of the door getting their tv-vcr set.

the old lady told me it was a small set only but sekali she came in lugging this damn huge box.

so suddenly
now i have 2 tv sets in my apartment
the screen of the tv-vcr is abt half the size of the other though
and it looks damn small in the living room after i removed it from the box

almost have to squint to watch it
was hoping there's another tv plug in the bedroom
but dun have
darn.

very good thing there's a timer too.
cos her show is at 6am everyday.

i don't really mind
i just find it amusing
-----------------------------------------------

the old couple, the bosses and i sat around to chit chat for a while
they were drawing maps on where the best chestnut trees are and how to pick them
we look like we're planning to rob a bank

last sunday lady boss and i went to pick chestnuts
i never knew the fruits were like big rambutans with sharp hard spikes
(chestnuts are the seeds)
i asked lady boss whether we need to bring the ladder
she laughed
turns out we pick them off the grass after they drop from the tree

it was really good though
fresh chestnuts
we didn't roast them like those in singapore
just boiled them in sugar water
very sedap
i ate so much i'm now scared of chestnuts

anyway there's one tree in the neighbourhood she's been eyeing for a long time
the chestnuts were huge and strewn everywhere
we drove up and down a few times eyeing the house like burglars
finally i went down to ask the owner
she waved me off

old lady said she went to that house yesterday to ask the owner
the owner scolded her off
said 20 pple already asked her in the past week
and she'll call the police on anyone who trespasses her territory

poor old lady
haha
kana scolded for nothing

tornados, chestnut picking tactics and a vcr
all in a sunday's work

The Patriot

I've just been chastise for being unpatriotic

"by all means enjoy the space and freedom in big and vast countries....but maybe one could be more forgiving towards poor little tiny singapore.."

so i shall sing my favourite song at 3am in the morning.

~
This is my country
This is my flag
This is my future
This is my life
This is my family
These are my friends
We are sin....ga....pore
sin....ga...por....ee....ans...

we are sin...ga...pore
SIN....GA...POR....EEEEEEE.......AAAANNNNSS!!!
~

i would of course
sing the ruien and taufik song
if i can remember the tune..and lyrics...and dance moves...
and....
hmm.
the only thing i remember is ruien and taufik trying to sing.
next time they should broadcast it every 5 min for 2 months
preferably when i'm away too.

(oh oh..now i've earned Jen's wrath.)

remember:
we are sin...ga...pore
SIN....GA...POR....EEEEEEE.......AAAANNNNSS!!!

Digging For Fire

am i living a meaningful "live life to the max" life here?
like in singapore, the answer is no.
but yet i feel a lot of peace and comfort
and i've been searching for the answer why

a huge part of it
is probably i've found out a lot of myself by leaping out of the familiar zone
i've had time to think
and reflect, and dream

and i've grown
i've seen
i've learnt
both professionally and as a person

this town is notorious for being boring
we joke to customers that this is a place that "never sleeps"
then we let them find for themselves what they can do at 9pm

i'm lucky then that i am
in the words of rowan atkinson,
"not a loner. but rather, i'll say, i'm not in constant need of companionship"

mom used to worry that i'd be bored
she asked how i spend my time
and actually i dun really know
i just find things to entertain myself with
like blog, or juggle...and juggle....and juggle

it has worked out tremendously well for me so far in terms of adapting and acceptance
the other singaporeans on the same program sent to another place did not quite enjoy their stint
it seems their place was more unfriendly
and unfortunate circumstances made the pple there more hostile towards them
-------------------------------------

tonight another wave of reflection/clarity hit me
and i shall write abt it

Choice is something i place importance in
because having choices means having opportunities to find passion
my greatest problem with the education system in singapore
is the lack of choice

if a student at 15 doesn't take biology
he can't do bio at JC
and he can't go to medical sch in singapore
at 15, a teenager is supposed to know what he wants
at 15, a decision effectively blocks out a career path

patch adams became a doctor after being in a mental hospital
in singapore, he would be wearing a silver ribbon trying to find a menial job

i was flipping through a graduate school mag yesterday.
in the introductory article
there were interesting insights
it says graduate school is not where you go to find what you want to do in life
that's what college and life is for
you take different courses in the first years of college to find your interests
and if you still can't find it
try a couple of careers
the bottomline is graduate school is for pple who want to indulge in the intellectual stimulation of their academic passions

i wonder how many pple in singapore think like that
i know for sure not many undergrads actually like what they study
and no wonder
because there was never a chance to explore what we like

try changing majors halfway in uni
the costs involved effectively blocks out that option
(if the uni even accepts pple like you again)

what results is a place where pple just get herded along
life is not bad
but there is no fire
it just goes on
and on
--------------------------------

when i went back a month ago
i spoke with a few pple
they were nice folks and friends, but speaking with them made my fire dim down
one was so determined to change jobs after his contract,
for better prospects elsewhere
he spoke mainly of the salary and the vacation days and the bonuses
not once did he mention the job scope or his interests

another was very concerned with job stability

i don't blame them
there are bills to pay after all
and so what even if you have fire?
i tried to find local openings for my interests
i haven't searched thoroughly yet
but currently it looks bleak
------------------------------------------

i can see why our education system is the way it is
pple is the country's only resources
and we cannot afford to waste time and money letting pple find their passions
in the first place, because singapore is so small, the options are limited
why spend money on an astronomy faculty?
or start a metoreology faculty?

notice how the government influences our college major decisions
they used to need a lot of engineers
so they hype and hype and hype
talking abt the salary and job opportunities and all

now they hype abt the life sciences
tha'ts the Next Big Thing the economy is gearing towards
suddenly there's a surge in pple taking life sciences
the scary thing is this field (and the hype) requires more than an undergrad degree
research requires more in depth and higher degrees
passionless pple doing higher degrees and research make me shudder
it looks so painful
--------------------------------

the States is huge
and with that there's so much to offer
with so much choice i'd think more pple would be doing what interests them
not all, but more than singapore

it's more than jobs and majors
live alone or with parents?
live in city or country?
live in bustling Big Apple or the more chilled South?
get married or stay swinging single?

another reason why pple can do what they want is the cost of living
For example W
he's in early 40s
his house is paid for and if he bought a cheaper car it'd be paid for
he is not married and has no kids
if he stops working he can live on social security
he doesn't HAVE TO work
he works because he likes it

F has cars and housing paid for
he grows his own veggies and has cows to slaughter
he works because "you can't grow pop tarts"
but again, there's always social security

you can afford to do what you want in life,
when the burden of bills is lifted.
it's not about buying nice expensive houses
a small flat in singapore will still cost me a butt to pay off
even if i have the money i have to find a husband or wait till 35! (and find someone to co-sign)
--------------------------------

i did not particularly enjoy NUS
(besides the juggling stuff)
it was ok, not bad
but no fire, except maybe the last few sems where i could choose electives

the other fellow engineering undergrads in NUS
they were alright
but i always felt a bit out of sync with them
we were somewhat at a different frequency
so we were cordial, but not chummy.

the days in RGS were the days with the fire
even today
talking to steph and weips and folks
you can tell they are different
steph has exuberance and loudness only found in americans
("Everyone in singapore speaks so quietly! they keep staring at me! like i'm too loud!")

i worry
because i sense the parallel
working in singapore is like NUS days
nothing bad, but uninspired
working here has the RGS ang moh environment and culture
there's humour and there's a sense of adventure

i look to living each day with the fire
and being with pple who can fan the flames and keep it alive
i worry
that singapore(ans) will smother my flame one day
---------------------------------------

i am getting more comfortable with the engineering occupation
i've found that an "engineer" can mean a whole range of jobs
with varying degrees of qualifications

so it results in
doctor? wow.
lawyer? wah.
engineer? pfft.

my mom works in an engineering department
and i think i got the "engineer? pfft." attitude from her
she wasn't ecstactic i took engineering but she left me alone
(and of course i have an uncle who went "girl in engineering?")
the reason why i took it was cos i like physics
so it was between engineering or physics
and various reasons tilted my decision towards engineering

i've since grown more respect for (some) engineers though
because i work with and watch intelligent theoretical pple create things
and that's what "real" engineers do
create things.

i wanna be a "real" engineer creating things in my field of interest eventually
W implied that i may be thinking too highly of myself
without trying to sound obnoxious, i don't think so
i may have lots to learn, but it's not out of my range
the bigger problem is
i know where the opportunites are in america
i haven't found it yet in singapore
----------------------------------------------

i wonder if it's possible to live each day with fire in the belly
it's like without sadness there's no happiness yes?
all relative.

i can think of times i felt so alive
so energetic i can't sleep,
so inspired time flies with no significance
so full of adrenaline ideas appear from nowhere
so happy there's a deep sense of peace

that's probably what passion tastes like.

constantly reflecting on how i feel
and gradually swimming towards what piques my interest
it'll work out one day.

Stay Hungry and Foolish, Little Bit.

Sad Post

Angie talking to Waite.

Angie: Waite i can't believe you're laughing because old pple died!
Waite (grinning): their oxygen tanks started exploding. it's just funny.
Angie (exasperated): Go away, i don't want to be friends with you no more. He's laughing because old pple died! you're terrible!

a bus was evacuating 45 elderlys away from Rita.
most of them had oxygen tanks to help them breathe.
the bus had a malfunction and sparks started flying.
the oxygen tanks exploded.
20 pple died.

in normal circumstances, these elderly would probably be evacuated in an ambulance.
but they were in a rush.
----------------------------------------

an official from new orleans broke down during an interview with CNN.
he was angry. very angry.
he described how he saw elderlys trapped in the old folks home.
they couldn't get out. they were immobile.
they survived the wrath of hurricane Katrina.
they waited for help.

on mon the federal said help was coming.
they waited.

on tues, they waited.
the floods were rising. there was no power.

on wed, they waited.
the nights were pitch dark. the only sounds were cries of help.

on thursday, they waited.

on friday,

they drowned.

-------------------------------------------

Listening to Dido always makes me sad.

"Cos' I want, tonight, what I've been waiting for
But I found, tonight, what I'd been warned about

now I've seen, tonight, how I could waste my time
and I'll be on my way, and I won't be back"

~"See You When You're 40" by Dido.

The Jugglers' Guide to the Universe

MJ: Do you believe that we can only have a finite number of drops per day?
Me: Huh?
MJ: I believe there is only a finite number of drops a day, say 200. so i keep trying until i reach drop 200, then won't drop anymore.
Me: er..no? But i think in terms of drops to get the trick, instead of per day. I think maybe i need to drop 5000 times before i get 5 clubs. so i keep trying. If i try and drop more i take shorter time to learn. if i only train once a week i take longer.

so i spent 5 hours on sat trying and dropping.
badminton came and went and i was still juggling.
It started out pretty crappy
and then i tried triples singles
which was even crappier cos it made my shaky 5 club totally lopsided

so back to basics
and back to repetition
it must look pretty insane
throw drop pickup throw drop pickup
after a while i wasn't even thinking anymore, just do
my longest (which is not very long) and prettiest run was when i was busy thinking whether i was being rude by not saying hi to the badminton pple
and of course when i realised i just did my best run, i dropped all

so the juggleress' guide to the universe:
-think of a role model (Olga can do it)
-believe you can get there (4999 more drops, 4998 more, 4997....)
-think of the dream (i need to get this so i can do xxxx)

jugglers are very optimistic pple
who are also very free
----------------------------------------

The One with the Tai Tai

there is one couple from another country who are regular customers of the restaurant
they stayed in SG for some time
the husband is quite chatty so we talk a bit
the wife looks fierce and doesn't talk a lot so i hardly speak to her

so one fine night
the wife was sitting outside when i walked by

"you not going in?", i asked chirpily
she pointed to her cigarette.
"oh ok!" i continued bouncing in.
"wait. come over. i want to talk to you." she beckoned me seriously.

my first thought was "oh oh....."
she started asking me, half questioningly half rebuking, why i only speak to her hubby and not her
my 2nd thought was "jialat....jealous wife"
then she started talking abt masks and sincerity and dating and boys
i understood what she was saying line by line
but on the whole i'm not sure what her point was, if there was one

i don't think she was jealous
but then i'm quite dense

the next day she was there again
and this time i made sure to say hi
we chatted for the next 1.5 hrs
we argued abt whether SG is a nice place to live in
she said yes.
i said no.
she said yes!
i said that is because she stayed there as an expat. but pple like us with bills to pay and hours to work keep getting kiaped between lowering wages and rising costs. SG is nice place to live in, but not as a tuna citizen.
she asked why do you want to knock off at 5pm (as opposed to 10pm)? to go home and drink beer?
i said what i do after 5 is not the point. the point is you have personal time to do what you want. Pple with families can spend time with their kids. pple with long toenails can cut their nails.

she said she is not rich. and i should not ask pple how much they get paid (i didn't). she said she doesn't need to ask, she just needs to look at what pple wear. if you buy expensive clothes and watch, she can tell you are rich. if you buy cheap things, she knows too. and she can't be friends with these pple cos they can't afford to hang out in expensive restaurants with her.

i look at my kiddy swatch watch.

she said she's not referring to me of course, and by the way she really likes my watch.

.............
i like my watch too

Counting Chickens Before They Hatch

Can I believe I'm going to Las Vegas for juggling?
it sounds ridiculous and funny
(like Alfred said, "Pple go there to gamble, you go there to juggle")
but at the same time it's so wild and exciting!

just downloaded a couple more videos from the competition website
i can't wait
i bet my mind will get blown away by what i see
it'll be like Alice in Wonderland
where "impossible" is re-defined

Hopefully that will bring me to the next level
maybe not in terms of skills that quick
but in terms of belief
and belief is a powerful thing
------------------------------------

W thinks it's amusing that i'm going there to juggle
"you actually have to pay for the convention!? i would think it is free!!"

WP has been there just last month
in the same hotel
in the same convention hall

His passion is playing pool
and from what he said he's really good at it too
he can't find anyone in this town willing to compete with him anymore
his dream is to become a pro pool player
and he spends every waking hour outside work honing his skills

so anyway,
there was a pool competition last month in that same hotel
so he's been there to compete
(he won back all the costs of staying there with a few hundred more to spare)

he's the only one so far who reacted with normalacy when i told him i'm going
"yah? it'd be fun!"
while everyone else jokes abt it like Little Bit is very very weird, in a gd natured way

have been getting tips from him
he said if you eat dinner at 10pm when they're clearing out,
you can get all-you-can-eat for $2.99
and their sandwich is as big as large pizza
--------------------------------------------

Let leaked to GB yesterday that i was going las vegas to juggle
she looked at me like she heard it wrong
i re-affirmed it (by explaining what juggling means)
and before i knew it she told everyone we met along the way that i can juggle
and she said before i leave she'll arrange a meeting so i can juggle for everyone

it's quite paisei
because i'm extremely average in juggling only
(if i can even say i'm average, probably below)

and sometimes i wonder if i overrate my "passion" for juggling
(passion is a powerful word, but "feelings" sound so perverse)
it comes and it goes
haven't juggled for 2 weeks
but yesterday got inspired again by the videos
especially by Olga
yeah

there was a discussion on the difinition of the "best juggler (in the world)"
i think it's important we strive to be better than our current selves
but to be better than others so we can be "best"?
nah.
the challenge is from within.
------------------------------------------------------

Festival of Dreams revisited

"Nothing happens unless first a dream." - Carl Sandburg

~~
"One of my juggling dreams is to attend a big juggling convention with my fellow juggler friends."
- dreamt by the juggleress on 26 feb 2005
~~

~~
"That Yvo will visit me on either the 1st or 2nd weekend of April."
-dreamt by Jialu on 7 march 2005
~~

and i wish this will come true for her
~~
That I will be learn to be strong and make the best of my life whether or not the person listed in 3 ever shows up in my life.
-dreamt by Jialu on 7 march 2005
~~

There's a couple more i'm pursuing (dreams, not guys).
they might take me a few years.
I hope i never lose sight of them and never forget the wonder that inspired it all

"The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle." - Anais Nin

Isn't this beautiful?

Quidam:

a nameless passer-by,
a solitary figure lingering on a street corner,
a person rushing past.

It could be anyone, anybody.
Someone coming, going, living in our anonymous society.
A member of the crowd, one of the silent majority.

The one who cries out, sings and dreams within us all.

This is the "quidam" that Cirque du Soleil is celebrating.
A young girl fumes;
she has already seen everything there is to see,
and her world has lost all meaning.

Her anger shatters her little world,
and she finds herself in the universe of Quidam.
She is joined by a joyful companion as well as another character, more mysterious,
who will attempt to seduce her with the marvelous, the unsettling, and the terrifying.
----------------------------------

I Love QUIDAM
I love the storyline
the costumes
the music
the artistry
the circus acts
a wonderful diabolo routine
a couple of juggling routines
a hand balance routine that almost made me tear (it was one of those nights...)
the last routine that is so magnificent and spectacular

i've watched the VCD so many times my mom wondered what's wrong with me
i'm bummed that i'll likely never get to watch it live
but oh well, the glass is half full
better to miss a show that i have the VCD of

god i love quidam
time to dig out the VCD and watch it on my laptop!

Quidam - The one who cries out, sings and dreams within us all.

i just fell in love with my horoscope.


Traditional Aquarian Traits

Friendly and humanitarian
Honest and loyal
Original and inventive
Independent and intellectual

On the dark side....

Intractable and contrary
Perverse and unpredictable
Unemotional and detached

Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different ways and have strong convictions, though as they seek truth above all things, they are usually honest enough to change their opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades them that they have been mistaken. They have a breadth of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take. Consequently they are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because they can see the validity of the argument, even if they do not accept it themselves. They obey the Quaker exhortation to "Be open to truth, from whatever source it comes," and are prepared to learn from everyone.

Both types are humane, frank, serious minded, genial, refined, sometimes ethereal, and idealistic, though this last quality is tempered with a sensible practicality. They are quick, active and persevering without being self-assertive, and express themselves with reason, moderation and sometimes, a dry humor.

They are nearly always intelligent, concise, clear and logical. Many are strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive, so that the Age of Aquarius, which is about to begin, is much anticipated by psychic circles as an age in which mankind will experience a great spiritual awakening. The Aquarian philosophical and spiritual bent may be dangerous in that it can drive the subjects into an ivory-tower existence where they meditate on abstractions that bear little relevance to life. On the other hand it can help the many who have scientific leanings to combine these with the Aquarian yearning for the universal recognition of the brotherhood of man, and to embark on scientific research to fulfill their philanthropic ideals of benefiting mankind. When some cause or work of this nature inspires them, they are capable of such devotion to it that they may drive themselves to the point of exhaustion and even risk injuring their health.

Both types need to retire from the world at times and to become temporary loners. They appreciate opportunities for meditation or, if they are religious, of retreats. Even in company they are fiercely independent, refusing to follow the crowd. They dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on their own terms. Normally they have good taste in drama, music and art, and are also gifted in the arts, especially drama.

In spite of the often intensely magnetic, forthcoming and open personality of the more extrovert kind of Aquarian, and of their desire to help humanity, neither type makes friends easily. They sometimes appear to condescend to others and take too little trouble to cultivate the acquaintance of people who do not particularly appeal to them. They do not give themselves easily - perhaps their judgment of human nature is too good for that - and are sometimes accounted cold. But once they decide that someone is worthy of their friendship or love, they can exert an almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will themselves become tenacious friends or lovers, ready to sacrifice everything for their partners and be faithful to them for life. However, they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable. And if they are deceived their anger is terrible. If disillusioned, they do not forgive.

Aquarians work best in group projects, provided that they are recognized as having a leading part in them. They have a feeling of unity with nature and a desire for knowledge and truth that makes them admirable scientists, especially astronomers and natural historians. They may excel in photography, radiography, electronics - anything connected with the electrical and radio industries - aviation and everything technical. On the arts and humanities side their progressive tendencies can be expressed in writing, especially poetry, and broadcasting, or as welfare workers and teachers. Some have gifts as entertainers and make good character actors (having an ability to mimic) and musicians. The more psychic among them possess healing gifts, especially in curing the mentally sick.

Among the faults to which they are liable are fanatical eccentricity, wayward egotism, excessive detachment and an inclination to retreat from life and society, and a tendency to be extremely dogmatic in their opinions. Aquarians can be a threat to all they survey or a great boon for humanity in general. Circumstances - for example, continuous opposition to a cause they hold dear - may cause the atrophy of the openness of mind that is one of the Aquarian's most attractive traits. They may express a lack of integrity in broken promises, secretiveness or cunning. Simmering anger and resentment, rudeness or, worse, a tense, threatening silence which may suddenly burst out in eruptions of extreme temper, these are all part of the negative side of the Aquarian. This can also reveal itself in a sustained hatred for enemies that is capable of enlarging itself into a misanthropy toward the whole of mankind.


LIKES

Fighting for Causes
Dreaming and Planning for the Future
Thinking of the Past
Good Companions
Having Fun

DISLIKES

Full of Air Promises
Excessive Loneliness
The Ordinary
Imitations
Idealistic

"(They) take too little trouble to cultivate the acquaintance of people who do not particularly appeal to them.

they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable.

And if they are deceived their anger is terrible.

If disillusioned, they do not forgive."
----------------------------------------------------

I am sad.
today, one of my friends disappointed me.
i don't even know if he can really be called a "friend", since i don't know him that well in the first place.
yes it's a "he", and it's not a dating thing.
and it's a "he" over here, so no drama across the ocean.

He helped me a lot when i first came over, so i feel quite indebted to him.
and yet as you get to know the person more, you start seeing ugly sides...

everyone has ugly sides
but i'm friends with my friends because their pros outweigh their cons
bascially i love them more than i hate them

for this friend
his little things here and there has been tilting the balance
but i'm indebted so i allow a lot to bounce off me
unfortunately today i think the balance finally shifted

it annoys me when pple jump to conclusions and be stubborn and dogmatic abt their views
and when this behavior results in serious consequences, it's not just annoyance anymore

i hate it when pple start accusations without doing thorough checks
for example
if i were to accuse you of stealing
i'd better be damn well sure i know my facts for sure

or if i were to accuse you of being a bad worker or ruining something
things that can cost you your job
i'd also be damn well sure of the facts

even worst than that is when you don't accuse pple in the face, but spread rumors behind them and to the boss.

it's terrible and a freaking waste of time.
----------------------------------

he didn't accuse me of anything
the story is
i told him a work related anecdote that W told me, something that was not done right previously
he heard wrong and thought i was talking abt someone else

"who W#### did it? he works under me i'm his boss now, i'll speak to him abt it"
"no no, not W####"
"you just said W###"
"i said W"

what i meant was i said "W" told me the story, but he understood it as W did it. i was exasperated by then and i knew the more i said the more names i'll drag in dirt so i just left it alone.

Before i knew it, the "W did it" story has been spread (behind his back) and even to the boss.

i'm blardy annoyed. First, he was so stubborn and adamant abt it, possibly cos he is prejudice. His guys can do no wrong but others will. Adamant about the wrong facts never mind, spread the word somemore. spread never mind, spread to the higher levels somemore (and i think it was totally un-necessary, cos it was not a big deal).

i did try to correct him, but he's the kind who'll jump on your every word and twist to what he wants to hear so i gave up. Leave before i drag everyone's names in.

and now i feel guilty. W is a good friend and i feel like i sabo-ed him since i brought up the story and i did not fight hard enough to correct the facts.

W still doesn't know abt it. it's not so serious that the boss will talk to him about it but the boss will bear in mind. Was thinking of telling W abt it so he can defend himself if need to but i dun want to look like i'm setting them up against each other. Thought of going back to correct the facts now but the more i say the more names i'll drag in mud.

it's so complicated and un-necessary!!! what a waste of effort and time! freaking cheese bun.

i'm still very annoyed
i dun really want to speak to him now unless it's work related
because whatever i say is so easily mis-interpreted and distorted
but then i remember all the help he gave me
and i feel like i shouldn't be like this

why can't pple just live and let live and mind their own business?
why must we spread bad things abt others?

;o(

The Dating Game

I just used the oven for the first time yesterday!
finally got sick of eating microwaved chicken pie with uncooked flour
it wasn't too bad
i think i might try baking stuff soon
the unthinkable has happened.
i may actually grow to be one of those mamas who can bake cookies!

anyway
wrote the following yesterday
my version of Sex and the Lion City
recorded the conversations i've had abt dating
i hope i don't get into trouble for this

----------------
Conversation with CC:

"i had a date yesterday. at an italian resaturant."
"Ooh! bet it was expensive wasn't it. You paid for her too right?"
"yeah, unfortunately i did."
"it was that bad huh"
"no not really. but i usually don't pay until after i get something out of the relationship."
"oh my goodness.....(shakes head). take it as an investment. after all you keep complaining you have too much money and nothing to spend on."
"yeah but that's just me i guess. i dun like paying for both in a date."
-----------------------------

Conversation with friend. (she's gonna kill me for blogging this.)

"eh. i'm sad"
"what happened? shi lian liao?"
"ya lor"
"how??"
"i told him i like him"
"what! zhang3 shen1 gu3 li4 gu3 li4. wah you damn brave lor."
"he said he's flattered but he cannot reciprocate."
"did you rip the papers apart and throw into the pool.."
"no. we were very mature in handling it"
"how you tell him?"
"don't ask...the wounds are still healing...i'll tell you when i'm ready"
"you just went 'i like you!' ?"
"no...i told him a story"
"huh? like 'there's once a girl who met a boy...' ?"
"no la! a personal story.. something that happened.."
"something like 'i was cutting my toenails that day and i realised i like you!'? "
"no.....eh my wounds are just closing can you not rip it open again"

note to friend:
tell me if you want me to remove this. :)
this is revenge for waking me up at 11am on a saturday!
blogging can heal wounds also ma...so i help you blog. heh.
--------------------------------------------------------

Conversation with another friend. sort of. from what i remember. she's gonna kill me too anyway.

"he brought me to (a high class) Hotel for tea. he told the waitress 'i only want evening tea, not breakfast tea.' i don't even know there're these kinds of tea!"
"so you ordered teh peng?"
"i ordered juice. then he asked me to look at the ceiling and admire the architecture. like huh???"
"hahahaa...hey that's being refined."
"yah but you know me! i'm not refined!"
"yah actually i can't imagine you like that. hahahaahah"
"i was trying to stifle my yawn"
"wah liao you. the settings so nice then he talk to you and watch your lips quiver"
"ya. hahahaah. and we walked all the way to that hotel somemore. he told me only 10 minutes, but it was 20 minutes!"
"aiyo you....but you crossed the bridge and everything? wah romantic sia!"
"ya. halfway we stopped and we talked abt him and the clear waters and the moon."
"hahahahahaha.....it's romantic! dinner..walk over bridge....see moon...have tea...look at ceiling..."
"i just kept telling him 'you told me 10 min! it's 20!'"
"wah liao you! it could have been so romantic then you spoil it by complaining. not that far what!"
"i don't walk! 10 minutes means 10 minutes!"
"the setting is right but the partner is not i guess"

Conversation with the same friend. Some dialogue is made up but context is all true.

"lend me your phone for a while"
"take lor"
"i'm gonna send a 'i miss you too!' sms to your friends can"
"i dare you"
"don't dare me"
"you wouldn't dare"
"sent!"
"WHO YOU SEND TO?"
"this guy"
"WHAT!"
"hahahhahahaah"
"he's been trying to zhui1 me for ages and you sent him 'i miss you too!'"
"is it??? hahahahaah......how i know...hahahahaha"
"you idiot! he just message me! ask me to go out! what do i say?"
"say your stupid friend send one la. i take responsibility can. actually now i think abt it quite mean hor. like i raise his hopes. but not purposely one what! how i know he still like you?"
"i'm gonna make you come along and apologize to him you ninny."

(i think in the end she still had to go out with him that week to apologise. haha. me and my itchy fingers. paisei ah. next time i borrow your phone i'll just order coke from the vending machine.)

(recently)
"how's things going with him"
"he asked me where he ranks in my list of suitors. i was thinking 'what list of suitors'? haha"
"what did you reply"
"haven't thought abt it. i went out wth him the other day. as friends"
"aiyo...don't give him false hope"
"didn't i think...i was quite bored and i think i showed disinterest...just like the other one." *yawn*
"OEI! you're not allowed to yawn when talking to me! i'm not the two guys you're not allowed to show disinterest!"
"hahahaha"
---------------------------------------

Another One

"eh i hinted to him today."
"wah very brave are you! then how?"
"then he hinted back"
"*Gasp!* Yay!"
"no, he hinted back rejection"
"oh. erm, oops"
----------------------------------------------

This One is from chio bu.

"how did you start with the Keanu Reeves lookalike?"
"i saw him at the pub. Then just sit in his line of vision lor"
"wah line of vision??"
"ya..so when he looks up he can see me"
"got picture?"
"no"
"you sure he look like Keanu or not? i trust you but your taste a bit weird one. you're the one who said Lynette's hair is GORGEOUS*"
"hahaha..that was in sec 3!"

*Lynette has super frizzy hair that explodes when untied while chio bu has the prettiest softest hair around. well apparantly she finds Lynette's hair GORGEOUS...so...*
-----------------------------------

My Own Small Misadventures

~~
(Mom) " are you all dating?"
"no la. friend only la."
"keep that way ah. out of 50 points, i grade him...mmmm....minus 50. ok wait i like one point abt him, so minus 49. minus 49 ok??"
~~

~~
(friend) "you went to a hotel room with a guy??"
"eh can you not say until so nan2 ting1. i got free room so i invited friends for sleepover, but they come in the evening ma. then in the noon we were at a seminar nearby so i asked him if he wants to see how the room looks like"
"YAH STILL??? AIYOH!!! so dangerous!"
"come on la. i know him well. he's very decent one. but actually i just realised how i could have sent out the wrong signals hor"
"YAH! nan nui shou shou bu qing! tsk tsk tsk!"
"aiya....friend only la! we drank tea and watched discovery channel"
"THAT's WHAT THEY ALL SAY!"
"hahahahaha"
"then last time you went to someone's room!"
"eh that one was to borrow books can?"
"nan nui shou shou bu qing! close door somemore!"
"hahahahahahaha. switch on air-con what. but actually it looks quite bad hor. no wonder his mom kept coming into the room! haha. eh see we close door but never LOCK door OKAY"
"your reputation is ruined la friend"
~~

Then there was Mr. Spammed-me-50-SMSes-in-a-row.

"he sent me 50 sms-es!!"
"hahahahahaha...why?"
"we were supposed to meet wed, but something cropped up ma. so i told him cannot meet liao. so he sent me 50 sms-es to lecture me!"
"hahahahahaahaha"
"eh it's not funny lor, i was damn pissed off. at first i felt quite bad cos i broke my promise true. but after the 10th sms i stopped feeling bad cos i don't think my crime warrants this"
"how to send 50? what he say?"
"everything! long long stories! moral lectures! my phone beeped the whole night!"
"hahahaha..did you reply?"
"i didn't want to. then i got irritated by the 20th msg, so i replied back. then he sms more! at last i just let it beeped. really something wrong man."

------------------------------------------

since we're on the topic of phones and smses.....

(phone rings)"hello?"
"hi can i speak to Vino?"
"you've got the wrong number"
"is this 9xxxxxxx?"
"yes but there's no Vino here."
"don't bluff ok, call him to the phone"
"i'm not lying there is no Vino. who is Vino?"
"aiya fucker la you" (hangs up)

*stunned*

~~
saw steph tan going to work the other day while i was in my dad's car.
she didn't see me.
i sms--ed her 4 hours later.

"i see you! you're wearing a white blouse right"

(phone rings 5 min later)
"where the hell are you?"
"near you la.""where???"
"are you in the office?"
"yaaaa?"
"i'm under your desk lor"
"go and die. ni3 zai4 na3 li3??????"

~~~~
another good prank to play.
did this during one of the Chinese New Years.
sent out a mass sms on chu1 yi1 (i was bored ok...)

"i see you in your red blouse! don't be embarassed! you look cute!"

you'd be surprised how many pple are REALLY wearing red blouses.
~~~~

Till next time....

*warning. this post is very long cos i wrote it over two days. fell asleep on the first day. maybe you'd fall asleep and read it over two days too*

It's Like Having Two Families..

"so, how's it like going back to singapore?"
"it was fun! had a good time catching up with everyone"
"bet it was hard coming back to alabama wasn't it"
"well...not really. Both places have their good points. It's like...having two families. Two homes."

----------------------------------------

been blogging an awful lot lately.
well it's been an awfully good week,
so even though i'm awfully tired i'll blog some.

customer left today.
it's been a whirlwind week getting all the stuff ready
but he's a nice guy, so it was cool.
we were happy working with him, he left happy, we were left happy
so it's a good day.

"why are you here so early?"
"i drove the customer here"
"did she just say she drove the customer to work?"
"yes...and i tried my best not to kill him."
"yeah you better not we need their business! did he know you just learnt to drive?"
"i think he found out pretty quick."

felt very connected and at home today.
knew where to go, where to hunt for stuff, whom to look for help
everyone was helpful, everyone was friendly
what a grand day

GB told the customer they'd hire me if singapore didn't want me
and FJ added with a wink, "she'll be back."
--------------------------------------------

was trying to get a power supply to work today
i needed over 50 V of power and i didn't want to blow anything up
so i went to get Waite for help

He came over, sat down, "let's see...", and promptly jabbed the probe into the ground pin.
*PIAK*
A huge spark almost blew the probe out of his hands.
"Whoa!" we both jumped back...."ok so that's not where it should go."

we spent the next 10 minutes figuring it out, with him still jabbing the probes into any hole he can find.

"Waite you're making me nervous jabbing the probes everywhere"
"you're making me nervous turning the voltage knob so quickly!"

after more minutes of creating sparks
"see if i do this, there's a spark. oh oh did i just blow the supply up?"
"Waite! More fireworks and they'll assign us to the shipping department"

and using the multimeter with mysterious power
"Waite the meter is not even plugged up."
"it has power. you're fooling me."
"no look! this is the power cord."
"look! it has power!"

(after 15 minutes)
"we're not getting the readings we need. Then again we're using a multimeter that is unplugged"

in the end we decided the resolution we needed was too fine for the supply.
high voltages and sparks make me nervous.
-------------------------------------------

perhaps the only downer of today was one of our fellow workers got into trouble (and a warning only i hope) and she was in tears when she left
I hate it when pple at the lower end of the hierachy (i hate the condescending connotation but it's prob the most concise description) get in trouble/tears
it's like they're so powerless
at the mercy of bureaucracy
it makes me feel sad

over here, for the same position, they are much more enpowered than in singapore
a lot more

the negative side is you have to deal with a lot of whining and complaining
"this doesn't work! i want this! i want that!"
"these are the only choices we have..."
"well then throw this into the garbage! send it back and ask them to fix it!"
"no CC, we can't really do that"
"it belongs to the garbage! i dun want this!"

the positive side is everyone has an opinion to voice so it's sometimes easier to solve things.
at times anyway. :)

someone walked past with a newbie the other day and i overheard her say
"i dunno who told you that junk my dear. This company does not believe in hierachy"

and that's pretty much true in alabama.
there is still an invisible line you don't (want to) cross, but nothing like what we see in asia.
here you can march into the CEO's office and show him your birthday present and he'll wish you a good one
or you can be like CC and complain all the way to the CEO's office and he'll tell him to get the hell out of his office but that's abt it.

it's more like even though you're the manager it just means you perform a different role and get paid more, but it doesn't mean you're the almighty boss.
it's quite refreshing.

anyway i'm just sad she was in tears.
cos she's a friend.
and before that she was in such high spirits telling everyone "if you see shorty, can you grab her and throw her over to me cos i've been hunting everywhere for her"

"hey, it's good to be short. no one can see me walk around. whereas like FJ, you can see his bald head from the other end of the room"
---------------------------------------------

3 customers from india are also with us right now.
i don't work directly with them, but one sits next to me so we talk.
turns out they don't drive so they're pretty much stuck, like me when i started out.
i offered to give them a lift whenever they needed one
and to bring them around
(i'm just hesistant cos my driving is......)

i'm not sure if i would be so hospitable if i was at home
but being here, having been in the same boat and being on the receiving end of so much kindness
i feel so obligated to return the kindness to somebody who needs it

and it does feel good to do nice things
there may be karma after all
----------------------------------------------------

didn't want to go home after such a nice day
couldn't think of anywhere to go
thought i'd drop by the chinese restaurant and then go to the bookstore
left the restaurant at midnight (again)

one of the regular customers asked if i am married
i said no.
he quickly added he was single too.
the chinese bosses were laughing their heads off.
"huh?? ta yao zhui ni?????????"

we also chatted about nose rings and whether they hurt.
lady boss showed me her eyes lined with eyeliner and said nothing can compare to that.
i think nose rings hurt a lot more but agreed that eyeliners are very uncomfortable to draw.
after a while i came to realise that i misunderstood her
those were not drawn on eyeliners
those were tattooed on!!!!!

WHAT!!! *cringe*
imagine tattooing along the eyelid! oohh yyyiiiii owwwww

"isn't it popular in singapore? it's very popular in china"
"i've never seen or heard someone do that. We do have pple that tattoo on their butt cracks...but eyelids? oohhhh yiii owwwwww"
"did them when i was young. my mom disapproved of course. so i went with my fren and we both hid in her room for 3 days."
"damn pain right?"
"not really. but the eyes swelled for 3 days. really like panda."
"so you and your friend just locked yourselves in her room and walked around with panda eyes for 3 days...."
"ya lor. as though we became guo jia zhi bao (national treasures) overnight. cannot show face"

we just kept chit chatting even after they were closed for the day.
the boss has been robbed at gunpoint twice when he worked elsewhere.
he has had friends working in new york who were killed. he knows pple who killed.
according to him, in new york, when you empty the shop trash at night they need someone to guard the door with a gun.
the restaurant he used to work in has rows of guns at the back of the kitchen and he'll play with them when he's free.

they feel that americans discriminate chinese pple like them
even though i disagree and said it could just be a lack of communication
(they said i'm different cos i have a "western" education so i fit in better)

anyway, even though i always knew we were from different white/blue collar social strata
(and i enjoy the differences in perspectives they bring)
it only just hit me yesterday abt sub-concious discrimination

listening to their stories of hardship and fighting and slugging things out and discrimination
it dawned on me that they could be america's equivalent of our local foreign workers
our indian construction workers...our indonesian "housekeepers"....

this is going to be politcally incorrect
but i know i'll prob never really be friends and get to know these pple
i'm not explicitly biased, they are pple after all
but sub-conciously i know i see them in a different way
a different group, a different bunch
the biasness from society has infiltrated in whether we like it or not

the point is
me being new to america
i come in with a clean slate
my vision is not tainted by forms of discrimination moulded while growing up
so i see pple as they are
and get to know them as they are
i can't discriminate because i don't know the rules of discrimination
i dun know what's a junk college and what's a good one
everyone has nice houses so what is normal and what is rich and what is poor

i didn't know and i didn't care
unfortunately i've been here for a while so i'm starting to find out as i interact more with others

it just dawned on me yesterday what was happening
a sudden realisation
i got to know the chinese bosses and many more pple cos i just like them for who they were
there are probably also many foreign workers in singapore that are as nice and have many interesting stories to tell
but i will never get to know them well and hear these stories
because my eyes are tainted and my mind too eager to categorize,
whether i like it or not

sometimes it is better to start afresh
---------------------------------------------------------

GB was telling us she's been married for 20 over years and have no children
they all looked at me and remarked that i'm just abt the age of her daughter if she had one
see suddenly i feel that i'm so young at 24
really just a Little Bit running around.

we met the son of the founder of the company over lunch the other day.
he's some tua liap in the company but everyone eats with everyone.
he said his dad (the founder) sent him to singapore when he was 27 to start the singapore branch.

"i have many nice memories of singapore. i was 27 and living alone in a tropical country! Many nice pple there. One of my vice presidents kept rubbing medicated oil on his head during our meetings.

at that time the toilet cleaner washed the toilet by hosing water everywhere, so the toilet paper was always wet. most of us will keep toilet rolls carefully locked up in our drawers. That fella will, in the middle of our meeting, slowly unlock his drawer, take out his toilet roll carefully, tenderly roll out the length of paper he needs, and then say 'excuse me, i have business to attend'. it was so funny."

that tua liap was a very funny jovial guy himself. very exuberant.
the conversation veered to one of the managers who was blind in one eye after an accident
"i'll let him know you're here and tell him to keep an eye out for you." *wink* *guffaws*

and then there was another manager with only one arm, so more jokes there.
"haha...you guys are so mean!"
"no no we're all very good friends. and they joke abt it themselves. so it's cool"

the other day i saw one of the supervisors wheel in a "small fry" employee in a wheelchair
that employee was wheelchair bound and the supervisor will push her in everyday
Little things like these make the heart warm.
-------------------------------------------------

I just found a clown club in this town!

Saw a stack of mag for casual reading in the chinese restaurant and asked the bosses why in the world would they put magazines abt cancer institutes in their restaurant.

"oh it's abt cancer? i dunno, the stack came free. we found it at the doorstep one day"

so i flipped through it for fun and there was an article abt a clown club here!
practising the philosophy of Patch Adams that laughter is the best mediciane

sometimes you wonder whether there is some strange power
manipulating coincidences and fate
i'll give them a call one day
hopefully my Fish will finally have friends!

Little Bit and Enjoying It

sometimes i forget how young i am
it seems like i've been here for so long
even though they still call me Little Bit

just had dinner with an engineer from another company i'm working with
he gave me a lot of good advice.
he works in a field that i'm intrigued with
so we just talk abt what he does, how he got there etc

he reaffirmed my line of thought

"There's always things to learn no matter what field you are in. If you're willing to learn and work hard you'll get to where you want.

Some pple are experts in only one field. they know only one thing but they go in depth into that. Some pple know many things. It depends on what you want. Even within a company you may change job scope, and then you learn something new. When i was in Motorola i only did one aspect. i never did power because we have a power expert. then i changed company and i did everything. so i learnt new things along the way.

so where you are now, it may not be directly useful. but it will help you eventually."


but if i were to change field eventually, won't i be at a disadvantage cos i don't have direct experience?

"yes you will be. but it's all marketing at the end of the day. interviews are all abt marketing yourself.

this company headhunted me. i went for the interview. the guys there are all very smart. young graduates from MIT. they ask me questions that i can't answer. i graduated a long time ago i don't remember these things. Then they asked what i can bring to the company. i told them they can create wonderful things, but can they guarantee their product can work 100 times over. it is different, to make something that works and to make something that works again and again, 100 times, 1000 times. that is my contribution to their company.

if you're really interested, tell them you're willing to take a pay cut to get a foot in the door. tell them you're willing to work extra hard and put in extra hours. or market the experience you already have. you know how things work in your field. You can optimise their product, help them save cost. You know the rules and regulations, all these will be useful."

Hmmm...

"I dunno. i started out in this field and you did not so we're on different paths. But sometimes you also just take things as they come. when i was 24 i didn't think i'd be in america having dinner with a lady from singapore. (a fellow engineer) started out as an engineer and then he got moved to project management. i was doing this and then did that and now i do everything. Things happen."

About doing lab research...

"i did my masters in medical engineering. we put electrodes in monkeys and monitored the signals. it was very difficult but interesting. They asked me to do Phd but i'm not that kind of person. It takes someone special to do a Phd.

but lab is different from commercial. You and i are both in the commercial sector. Research drains money, it consumes money. Commercial sector makes money. the atmosphere is different."
-------------------------------------------------

and i agree completely.
there is a vibe to being in the commerical sector.
pple work in teams more, we get stressed together, get in trouble together and wriggle out of trouble together
there is a lot more involuntary pressure and long hours though
and the occasional rantings from customers

if there's something i really like so far
it's that i get to meet different pple
and all of them has a story to tell and advice to give

a lot of fellow colleagues, i suspect, find entertaining customers as part of PR
i sort of enjoy it
not in a party livewire sort of way, like chatting away happily with everyone
more like getting to know them over dinner
listening to their stories

the best part is even though they are really just strangers to me
it doesn't feel like a shallow PR conversation cos i'm extending a genuine gesture of friendship
and hopefully they feel the same way. i think they do.
(of course a few days of working together i can't really call them "friends", but i wouldn't say they're "just pple i work with" either)
-------------------------------------------------------

it's exciting to be a Little Bit.
Like a beginner juggler,
this is the stage where everything is new and fresh and relatively easy to pick up.
Being Little Bit also means i have no ego and so i have a license to ask any stupid questions and hide behind the excuse of being a Little Bit.
Little Bit can also seek advice from anyone with advice to give.

i love seeing new things and learning new stuff.

Spent the whole of today working on something.
it was quite tedious after a while but fun.
gary walked by and asked what i was up too. i told him it's quite tiring but fun and he was like "yah i can see you're having fun"

Picked up some more programming tips from FJ by watching him work.
(and asking questions. he's getting more patient with me these days)

Over dinner with the customer he taught me something new about regulators which i've never heard of.

"yah i know. they don't teach these things in school. they only teach what's in the book."
--------------------------------------------------

it's all these little tidbits of knowledge that i feel one day will all come together
the dots will connect one day
suddenly today i feel that being 24 is so so young
Maybe one day when i'm 48, i'll be having dinner with another Little Bit and telling her/him stories of me and my little-bitty misadventures
----------------------------------------------------

Driving Miss Daisy

i drove that customer in my car today
cos he didn't have a car

now i don't mind driving pple around at all
but i dun like it cos it's stressful driving with someone else in the car
it's like, if i do something embarassing like drive on the wrong side of the road, at least only i know
it's quite paisei to drive someone then put their lives in danger

so anyway
i warned him i was a beginner driver so give me advance warning of where he wants to stop
he directed me to an ulu mexican restaurant then changed his mind in case kana food poisoning

"i'm sorry. i owe you chocolate"
"no worries. it's easy to turn out so apology accepted"
"ok so i can take back my chocolate?"

and then after that we decided to make a U turn to go to a restaurant on the other side.
i think he saw that i was kancheong so he quickly went
"take your time take your time. we are in alabama! there is no hurry to do anything!"

"i think i can turn left here and we can turn out again?"
"why not make a U turn here?", "if you're comfortable" he quickly added
"well, it may be easier to turn left and turn out again"
"yeah we can do that....but problem is...if you turn left you're going onto the highway. we might end up in another state"

after dinner i was wondering how to turn into his hotel.
"don't worry why don't you stop here. i'll cross the road myself"
"you sure?"
"yeah i've done it before. it's no problem"

so i stopped him there and he sprinted across the 8 lane road carrying his laptop.
it's quite funny watching him run. i'm quite embarassed.
like take customer out for dinner then make him run across the 8 lane road.
oh well.

better go sleep.
gotta pick him up for work tmrw.

What Women Think...
when plucking eyebrows for the first time

i'm a sadist and narcist and have too much time
i think i'll spend the next 2 hours staring at the mirror and tug my brow hair
Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow
Ow
Ow
damn i'll go on to the next hair

Ow Ow Ow
if i tug it 20 times maybe it'll come loose
Ow
damn it
i wonder what's on tv
Ow
that looks interesting
EH? the hair is out! my first plucked brow hair!!!

i think i'll get that one
Ow
that one too
Ow Ow
and that one and that one and that one
i'm getting good at this
Ow
it's quite fun actually
Ow
let's try 2 at one time
OW
^*&%^&%$^%^#

wait wait
i'm supposed to be shaping the brow and not stripping it
i'll just pluck all those below
ow ow

am i suppose to pluck those above the brow
i think i should move on to the other brow first
ow ow ow ow
still looks thicker than the other brow
ow
pluck a bit more
ow

looks a bit uneven ah
pluck the other side
ow
a bit more
ow
no too much
go back to the other side
ow

OH OH
----------------------------------------

a word of advice for pple plucking eyebrows for the first time
some say you should head to the professional eyebrow pple to shape your brows first
then you maintain the shape by plucking stray hairs that sprout

i say pluck your eyebrows first otherwise you'll never do it
only go to the eyebrow pple AFTER messing up, with whatever brow hair you've left

i don't know why anyone will take advice from me
but that's what i'll do
only problem is
i don't know any eyebrow pple in alabama

i guess i'll have to walk around looking perenially surprised for the next 3 weeks

sigh.
---------------------------------------------------

Labour Day Kaboom

wanted to sleep in today
suddenly there was a loud but distant BOOM!
at first i thought i dreamt abt it
but got up anyway to check in case something exploded

sure enough the power went out
it's kind of touchy these days
with disasters and terrorists and all
that when something goes BOOM it's very worrying

went out to check if it's just me or everyone
saw that the whole apartment complex had a power failure
met a nieghbour who asked "did you hear the loud boom?"
so it wasn't a dream after all

still not sure what happened
but the maintainance guys were out there and the power came back in an hour
heng it happened in the day

during the hour i was wondering what i could do
it's amazing our reliance on power
no radio no tv no computer no stove no kettle no aircon no nothing

so how?
pluck eyebrows lor.

Labour Day Weekend

have been waiting for the weekend since last weekend
probably haven't adjusted fully yet
in a weird stage where i'm eating a lot of grapes and sleeping all the time and thinking i'm lao tzu's butterfly

it's been a good weekend so far
and the good news is tmrw is a holiday too!
heh.

went shopping on friday after work
bought myself some tweezers to pluck my eyebrows
haven't opened them yet
thinking of filming myself pluck my first brow hair
it would probably rate a PG13 for strong language

then went to get some gas for my near empty car tank
the friggin petrol rose 30 cents a gallon in just 8 hours
popped by the chinese restaurant to say hi
ended up staying there till midnight
eating some fish that has both eyes on the same side
---------------------------------

went to get some real exercise on sat
i found an excellent place to juggle
it's the sports hall in a college nearby
lightly air-conditioned so it's cool and not windy
and the ceiling is infinitely high
the only downer is
there're few pple around so it's easy to get bored

anyway, juggler Pang, i tried triple singles!!!!
heh heh heh.
we're both on a mission to set a singaporean record for club passing.
singaporean, not singapore, cos Nick and Robert already did 9 clubs
no worries we're on our way!

one thing to note is that i realised the esplanade ceiling is too low for triples
at least for triples beginners
i did triples with 3 clubs for a while to get used to the height
it's extremely slow and 4 clubs is just right actually
so triple singles is not that hard
esp when you have infinite ceiling height

i worry for my Fish though
triples is the kind of height where the clubs get seriously abused when dropped
damn heart pain
so i stick out my shin to cushion their drops
damn leg pain

i tried 5 clubs triples (unsucessfully) for a while
had to stop cos i only have 2 shins
------------------------------------------------

juggled for 2 hours before the badminton club arrived
played badminton with them for the next 3 hours
and then went back to juggling again

most of the pple there were guys
like those uncles who play weekly at toa payoh sports hall

it's funny how they look quite unfit
with bellies and all
but they pack so much power in their strokes
one of them told me the secret is in the wrist
it's all wrist strength
he used to carry weights just using the wrist

my dad used to be one of those weekly uncles
and i rem how he once showed me some strokes
he could flick his wrist and make the racquet go "swoosh!"
while i had to swing my whole arm to get that same sound

maybe guys have more muscles around the wrist?
---------------------------------------------------

the indian restaurant was just round the corner
so i popped by to get some indian curry for the chinese restaurant bosses
since they've never tried indian food

it cost me 10 US bucks for a small container of curry
mom said she can cook curry for a whole Malay wedding for that kind of money
the bosses also said 10 bucks was extortion
all they need a day is one customer like me

the cafe next door was having an open mic session
where pple could just go and play music and stuff
i planned to drop by after making the curry delivery
but the pple inside were all dressed quite nicely
while i'm in my sports attire
dishevelled from my exercise
and popping grapes with great aplomb
so it's quite paisei
-------------------------------

woke up today feeling like i just rolled down the hill
went to the chinese restaurant (again) for the third time in 3 days
no wonder the lady boss was asking if i was feeling wu liao and whether i wanted to join a church

it was a pretty fun session today though
saw some interesting customers
the boss said "for you, these pple are 'interesting'. for us, they are our terrorists"

it's funny how pple can use the same trick over and over again
it's like, you can trick me once, maybe twice, but surely after that i won't fall for it again yes?
i've never seen that customer before
so i was more patient and accomodating
but they told me she has done that numerous times
so they're not so kind anymore

it's amusing listening to them
they have some sort of mental blacklist of fussy customers
and they'll be like "oh no it's that wang ba dan again" or "can you tell which is the wu1 po2"

i practically spent the day snacking there
being surrounded with food
there goes my grape diet for the week
the boss said i eat grapes until "lian3 qing1 qing1" already
--------------------------------------

Found a ticket on my windshield the other day
saw it while i was driving
i was like "damn kana summon"
but summon for what?
there're no parking charges here whatsoever

quickly went to take a look after parking the car
it was a note from AY saying

"WASH ME"

Hmmmmph.

First Week Back

it feels a lot like a dream
am i in singapore dreaming i'm in alabama
or was i here all this while dreaming abt being back to singapore

or maybe
i'm just trying to be lao tzu and his butterfly.

i was quite happy and hyper just now
but turned on the tv and there was a mercy charity concert for the hurricane victims
so a bit subdued now

the hurricane did pass by here
over a town just miles away
but by the time it got here it's quite weak already
still, those were the strongest winds i'll probably ever see

i'm so thankful i got here before the hurricane touched land
i was still blissfully unaware until J, who picked me up, told me abt it
"a hurricane's coming our way. Everyday on tv the eye gets bigger and bigger"

(the eye is the centre of the hurricane by the way. i told jialu the eye came by and she asked what's the eye. she said the tail's passing thru boston and i'm like what's the tail. Mr gomez will be so proud of us.)

so i arrived on sat, and katrina hit land sunday morning i think
i turned on the tv and there was a lot of alert of course
but then if you remember there was a big hoo ha about hurricane dennis
i bought my water and bread then nothing happened
so this time i also just heck care
sekali this time is big time disaster
sigh

by the time the eye reached us it was monday night
i wanted to skip work on monday to rest, like everyone told me to
but the thought of facing Katrina alone is not very appealing
besides i sort of forgot how to drive and i don't relish familiarising myself in a thunderstorm

Anyway, so the eye passed by monday night to tues dawn
i'm so thankful number two that it came at night
so i can just sleep through it see
i could hear the winds pounding outside
and the power flickered on and off
it's quite scary yes when suddenly there's pitch darkness and silence
so i quickly went to bed
blissfully unaware of the world that blew by

the power did go off again
i know cos in the morning all my radio alarms were reset
-------------------------------

anyway, if anyone is still wondering
besides the strong winds nothing major happened here
i'm very north and inland
and usually hurricanes fizzle out before they get here
katrina was just a hell of a storm to still survive all the way here
the eye passed by
we got strong winds (and i mean STRONG)
30,000 homes lost power i think for a couple of days
and that was it
the only fatalities were the flowers and grass and dunno what all over the place
----------------------------------

so..i'm fine...and so is everyone here
i haven't been online much
probably adding to the worry for some of you..heh
i've tuned my sleeping pattern to neither here nor there
so i just sleep all the time

mom called me and panicky told me there's another strom coming and there's looting and there's fire now!
i was like "er...i'm here and i see nothing"
(jen's gonna say i'm mean again..)

some parts of alabama (in the south near the coast) is probably still in trouble
that's why alabama is in a state of emergency
but alabama is very big
i'm prob as far from the south as KL is from singapore, if not further
so it's all well here
--------------------------------------

the price of petrol is going insane
it's just about to reach the regular cost of petrol in singapore!
i thought there'd be a panic spike and then it'll go down
but it doesn't seem like that's gonna happen in the near future
it has risen about 2 bucks a gallon
that's crazy
imagine petrol in singapore costing 3 dollar a litre instead of 1.75312434

at least there's public transport as an alternative in singapore
over here there's none
so it's gonna be tough on a lot of pple
it's not uncommon for them to drive an hour to work
so walking/cycling is not an option
unless you, like, start 5 hours ahead of time maybe
------------------------------------------------------

i've been eating a lot of grapes
it's like, eat grapes, sleep, eat grapes, sleep
it's just so convenient to eat grapes
seedless grapes of course
just pop into the mouth and move the jaw

i lost 5 pounds by just eating grapes
but now on hindsight i think those 5 pounds were all from the plane food
the way they keep feeding you
it's prob just abt 5 pounds of food
it's uncanny how they always serve just as you're going into deep sleep
like finally you overcome discomfort to move into REM
and then comes the "BEEF OR CHICKEN?"

i got through immigration
and all the officers told me "good luck for school!"
the first one i replied "no no, i'm working already"
but the rest i just smiled back
it's too much trouble to explain
next time i'll wear a power suit on the plane and pile on the makeup and perm my hair
----------------------------------------

i'm friggin tired.