24

24 hours a day
i've only just realised how short that is
and how much time work takes up

have been fitting in my new daily juggling regime into each day
the good thing is TV time is now negligible
the bad thing is i still do regular things like go online
so sleep gets sacrificed

now waiting for video to load so have time to blog

i'm sick again
and the air is so dry, my finger webs are cracking
blardy painful
most feel like paper cuts
very many paper cuts
but there's one big one that won't heal properly cos i aggravate it daily by juggling
imagine the air being so dry, your skin cracks until it bleeds
ouch

MJ says being sick is detrimental to juggling
but i can't rest on my butt now otherwise my enthusiasm will die off and i'll revert to the couch
my right hand hurts like shit from the cracks
the good news is my supposed weaker left hand is getting more practice (yoohoo!)
maybe there's no such thing as a weaker hand...it's just how much you practise

the weather is still blardy cold
so it's a challenge in itself to find a juggling arena
was planning to use the tennis courts
but they don't switch on the lights no more
probably cos no nut will be outdoors in 2 celsius temperature

the good news?
i found a nearby indoor club with a high ceiling!
yeeha!
so it was a blessing in disguise that the courts are down
otherwise i'd be the nut freezing my butt off out there...everyday

-----------------

This is a surprisingly catchy and chirpy song for the lyrics it has

"I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again "


Jen finished our last conversation with
"you're ok right?"
"yeah why?"
"you have no love, no job, no car..you're ok right??"

gee like thanks man.
hahaha.....
i thought that was pretty funny though
that sentence is not true enough for me to be depressed
but it's not so untrue that it's not funny
it's in the grey area of being true but not true
thanks for pointing it out so starkly anyway :p

-----------------------------------------

This quote from here is kind of neat:

"Rather than put any dream or passion away, I thought I should at least pursue any dream, however silly, before my time's up.

If there are those who would rather talk behind the fences and say that only "perfect" pieces of work should be put out there, I say, why not simply pick up some real courage and put "work in progress" projects to face the world, warts and all.

After all, there is NO perfection among mortals, and any step forward is better than sitting idly by."

Work in progress...warts and all.
any step forward is better than sitting idly by.
that should come in pretty useful....

i have so many ideas i want to implement
i can see it in my head
and i see it most clearly at night....that's why i get no sleep
inspirations abound at night

the challenge is to materialise it and present it with limited resources and budget
it might turn out crappy and not what i see in my head
that's a big worry

usually i visualise or enjoy the song so much i get bored with it and i dump the idea
dunno if that means the idea is bad in the first place or i just got bored
the latter will be a pity cos i could feel the MOMENT before boredom came in from overdosage.
if only i can present and share the MOMENT

Work in progress...warts and all.
any step forward is better than sitting idly by.....
-------------------------------------------

Here're some really cool lyrics from the song i'm hooked onto now. what a beautiful song.

"From Jamaica to the world,
this is just love,
this is just love,
Yeah!

Why must our children play in the streets,
broken hearts and faded dreams,
listen up to everyone that you meet,
don't you worry, it could be so sweet,

Just look to the rainbow, you will see
sun will shine till eternity,
I've done for much love in my heart,
No-one can tear it apart,
Yeah,"

VIVA LAS VEGAS II

I'm falling sick again
it's this damn weather
have been spoilt by vegas
it's wet, dark and cold here
and the sudden change is making me ill again

my juggling has been rejuvenated by the WJF trip
trying to fit in regular practice
yesterday i was practising clubs in my apartment at 2.30am
until my neighbour upstairs started banging my ceiling in frustration
oops

--------------------------

THE ONE WITH THE GRAND CANYON

the grand canyon is a 4 hour bus ride away
so with 8 hours of travelling and 4 hours of hanging around the canyon and stops etc
the whole trip took abt 12-14 hours

we stumbled onto the bus at 6.15am
bleary eyed and cold
it really wasn't too bad
just the ride around Lake Mead and Hoover Dam was rough cos of the winding roads which made me car sick

we stopped at the Hoover Dam for about 10 minutes for photo-taking
i have a video of Siyong and I trying to sian abt how the Dam works :)


-The Hoover Dam


the bus went along Route 66
supposedly a historical route or something
i'm still unclear about what's special abt that route
but i guess it's a big deal cos the pamphlet was practically screaming it out

we finally got to the grand canyon at abt 1pm
the bus driver told us to meet at the end point at 3.30pm
and he warned that in his career history as a canyon driver
there is always 2 pple who would get lost or be late

so we decided we'll walk in a group of 5

the grand canyon is pretty cool
i imagine it to be Disneyland to Mr gomez the geog teacher
at some point it hit me that these were rocks and rocks and just more rocks
no matter what photo i was taking they're still just rocks

so i begun to look for more interesting stuff
i call this "The Nipple"
(ok fine fine...the CANDLE)


-the Nip....CANDLE


and this is the 3 da4 bian4



-the DA BIAN

by and large though the canyon is pretty cool
it's majestic and really quite pretty
it's so out of the world the backdrop looks like it's painted

Sheng hau was jumping around everywhere trying to find exotic spots for his photographs
Jugglers being jugglers
we just HAD to juggle at the grand canyon
Only sheng hau brought his balls along though (Siyong and I were planning to just juggle rocks)

anyway, we all got our videos and pictures we wanted
sheng hau did 5 balls while i did 4 cos i was afraid i'd roll his ball off the cliff into the unknown depths of the canyon

"wouldn't it be something to call up the ball supplier and ask her to send you one more ball cos yours rolled off the grand canyon?"

halfway there we saw a deer which was amazingly agile for it's size
it clamboured down the cliff when it saw us excitedly running over to it
we were kind of afraid it would roll down the cliff
but as the taiwanese lady said, this is probably the daily routine for the deer

Us being Edward Itchy-hands also had to throw rocks down the Canyon
Sheng hau found a Mother of All Rocks
but he refrained from throwing it down in case "it hits someone"

"More likely it'll hit the deer!"
"What if the rock hits something and causes a landslide"
"yah man. i bet the Canyon was shaped by the Colorado River, plate forces and Man by throwing rocks down"

in the end, true enough, we were the last group to make it to the bus cos we took up a lot of time taking pictures everywhere with our funky poses
we were only about 10 minutes late
but it's still quite paisei cos we were the youngest group on the bus yes
most of the others are like quite elderly

the ride back was not too bad
for one the bus driver finally stopped talking
i couldn't make out what he's saying half the time
and his talking was so loud i can't sleep or chat properly
so i'm always glad when he says "i'll stop talking now"

on the way back though he played a movie that was full of shoutings and fighting and gun shots
so also cannot sleep properly

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QUOTABLE QUOTES

Ron is one of the jugglers at the WJF
he looks pretty young, and he learnt 5 clubs in a year
so i was discussing with him on how to get 5 clubs
and he left some memorable thoughts to mull over

"Do you practise everyday?"
"yes i do"
"How do you find the dedication to do that?"
"Well....if you need dedication to juggle...then maybe you need to find another hobby"

(pfffffffffff.........can feel the air coming out of my bubble...so lao kui)

"can you break down the 5 clubs for me? what do i need to learn to get it?"
"well.....you can try this, or this. but really, you just got to keep working on things you suck at to improve you overall control. it's not about being a 5 club juggler, it's about being a complete juggler. as long as you're learning something new, it's gonna add on to your skills."
~~~~~~~~

Discussing with SY about whether it's wise to spend so much time juggling. there are only 24 hours in a day, when you devote time to something, something else has to give.

"i say just do it. who knows, maybe in the midst of preparing for your production you'll meet somebody. I've made so many new friends through juggling. why go to a club to meet someone when that's not your cup of tea?"

(that's an enlightening thought. the key is to do the things you like, then if you meet someone through that activity, it'd be someone who shares your interest.)
~~~~~~~~

From "Tuesdays with Morrie", the book i bought to occupy me for my 4 hour transit to Vegas. it's a good thing i bought the book, cos my plane broke down and the next flight got cancelled so in the end i spent 12 hours at the blardy airport. that's right, i got to the airport at 4.30am, and i managed to fly out at 5pm.

Flying from singapore to vegas would probably take a shorter time than it took me to fly from alabama.

so it was a tremendously frustrating time cos i was so looking forward to vegas. i finished reading the book and got enlightened enough to start juggling at the airport.

if i can't go to vegas, then vegas comes to me!

(Truth is i got too bored. and i was too tired and pissed to be self concious)

i was going in and out the gates so much to reschedule my flight that i went through security check 3 times, until the officers can recognize me liao.

so anyway, back to Tuesdays with Morrie.

When asked if he envied the youthfulness of the author, Morrie (who was dying) says:

"I don't fear aging. I embrace aging. As you grow, you learn more. if you stayed at 22, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at 22."

"This is your time to be in your thirties.I had my time to be in my thirties, now it's my time to be 78."

"The truth is, part of me is every age. i'm 3, i'm 5, i'm 37, i'm 58. i've been through all of them. Think of all i can be! I am every age, up to my own."

"How can i be envious of where you are - when i've been there myself?"

(then why do pple say "oh if i were young again" or "i wish i were 65")

"You know what that reflects? Unfulfilled lives. Unsatisfied lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Cos if you've found meaning, you don't want to go back. you want to go forward, to see more, to learn more."

I think those are all very interesting and insightful new thoughts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

the fellas and i are already planning for our next convention trip. there's IJA, BJC, and closer to home, JJF.

SY: "When in school, we have not enough money to do all these. when working, we have no time"

i'm still somewhat in dreamland. wired in the possibilities of what can happen. soon the euphoria will die down and i'll get caught up in the troubles of the real world again.

(at last count the vegas trip, including all the fabulous props i bought, cost me a month's salary. and i'm still eyeing more props that are fabulously expensive)

But like what Feynman says, let there not be some grand life plan. let's just do things that excites you from day to day.

and then when you look back, there'll be no regrets, cos you can remember fondly why you did what you did.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From Cirque Du Soleil's "O":

"Travel far and wide, and you'll discover something beautiful -- your self"


From School of Rock:

"One performance can change the world"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spelling! or Chendol?
the closer i get to my self-imposed date
the more impossibilties i see
or rather, improbablilities

like they say
if you want to do something, you'll find a way
if you want to do nothing, you'll find an excuse

it's quite scary
it's like excitement, but with more cows

Bliss is a 5 letter word, so is VEGAS

i'm suffering from a hangover of vegas-phoria
7 days of tumbling around in vegas
where do i even start
i'll break it down to 2 parts: the juggling convention, vegas itself, the grand canyon and then stuff specific to juggling.
and then i'll learn to count.
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EAT SLEEP DRINK JUGGLING


-Team Singapore

we are probably the only ones above 21 in vegas that did not gamble at all during our 7 day stay. which is a good thing cos it implies we have better things to do than to waste time and money gambling. "Better" is a relative term because our indulgence was in juggling.

What an experience it proved to be able to eat, drink and sleep juggling for 7 days with fellow jugglers who, like yourself, think it is perfectly normal to juggle till 2am, go to bed completely exhausted, then wake up at 8.30am to grab a bagel and rush to the morning juggling workshop.

Siyong says that going to school is not even this siong.

when the convention was in full swing we practically spent the whole day at the convention hall. All around us were pple doing 5 clubs at the very least. Even the lady whom i initially thought was just there for the party could do 7 balls and 5 clubs. it was an amazing sight.

so there we were. when there's nothing on we would juggle, and watch others, and ask them for tips. when there were workshops we would be there. learning, taking notes, practising, taking photos with the gods of juggling.

most of the pple there were americans, mostly high school students, but some funky ones were there as well.


-Fashion Show

There was a group of japanese there, the best in Japan i would think. and they did hold their own among the american jugglers, waving the asian flag high. We told them we were from Singapore, and Shindo's (the ball juggling IJA champion) eyes lit up.

"Singapore? Michael Menes....wife...Singapore!"

so there you go. Singapore's only claim to glory in the juggling world. A famous juggler married a singaporean.

there was a taiwanese boy there as well with his teacher, a surprising entry to the competition. we got pretty friendly with them as we could speak mandarin. well he performed a routine that produced the only standing ovation of the competitions and got top honors for diabolo.


EXCALIBUR IS MY FAVOURITE NEW WORD


-excalibur the hotel

Tampei is the man.
He was the Japanese all rounder who can do wonders with clubs, the diabolo and the devilstick.
I can still remember fondly THE moment.
There was Tampei, in the middle of his routine.
the light was dim, the music was cool.
He was calm and composed in his usual manner, spinning the diabolo vertically.
Suddenly the diabolo is released.
2 spins and a whoosh later he caught the diabolo in mid air and continued spinning round like a graceful dancer.

i gave an instinctive"wow" under my breath.
what a wonderful trick.
what a moment.

Siyong says that trick is called the Excalibur.
Created by Ryo Yabe (another Jap diabolo god), Tampei added on to it by adding in 2 more spins.

"i wonder why he called it the Excalibur. Isn't the hotel down the road called Excalibur?"
"Yeah"
"Wah then next time there'll be a Luxur trick. A Riviera. Sekali 'Excuse me, can you do the Circus Circus'. "

The other trick-of-the-convention for me was Kikyo's 97531.

"describe the 97531"
"well, it's...throw one very high, then one that is lower, and another lower, and lower still, then pass"

i first saw him do that trick during practice.
what a brilliant trick. all the clubs froze in the air momentarily before dropping down like Bellagio's musical fountain.
I'll never get tired of watching that trick.

FUNNY MOMENTS

so after day 2 or 3 we looked like wrecks.
Not only did we not have enough sleep, we were juggling all day so it's tiring. and meals were planned around exhibitions and workshops.

Siyong went out one day without combing his hair. (he forgot to look in the mirror before heading out in a daze.)
He looked really funny juggling with uncombed hair...really machiam he jumped out of bed and started juggling immediately.
He took some digital photos and saw himself.
"eh how come my hair looks like that"

and chi min looked at him and was like "eh you look like you just woke up"
that was really funny....

The other hilarious moment was when we went down to play DDR at 1am.
Yup, there was a Dance Dance Revolution para para mat thingy in the hall.
Usually there were pple there so a bit paisei to play, and we figured at 1am no one will be there dancing.
we were wrong.
we hung around till abt 2 and tried our hands at it when there was no one dancing there.

So sheng hau decided he wanted to try dancing at maximum speed.
He changed the settings to max speed and picked a song which we later realised had the fastest beat.
he stood there and we waited for the arrows to appear.
2 seconds later the arrows shot up in split seconds.
His stunned look was priceless.
the arrows were so fast it's impossible to see them at all.
I loved the moment of aniticipation.
wait wait then suddenly the arrows shot in split seconds and we all kana stunned.

THE GODS OF JUGGLING

Thomas Dietz is the best.
Not just in terms of juggling, but in personality as well.
He is so friendly and funny and always looks like he's having a ball.

This was the guy who won both ball and ring competition by the way.
Probably the first guy who did 97531, and who ranks as one of the best.
but he had absolutely no airs, and speaks with sincerity.

I am so impressed with him, both as a juggler and a person.

Jason Garfield quipped, "Thomas practises 8 hours a day. He really loves juggling.....more than anyone really should, actually"

and then there's Eric Aberg who is really skilled as an artistic juggler, and the japanese jugglers
who look fierce from far but when you talk to them they're full of smiles.

I enjoyed Ivan's and Wes' workshops, and there was so much to learn even from the unknown gods.

As Ron says, " well at the IJA, you get a lot of pple doing different things. Over here, you get a lot of pple doing very difficult tricks. This is not the average American standard. the kids here are all the top of their batch"


IT'S QUITE INSANE

"has it ever struck you guys, how crazy it is that you're spending all this money to come here for a JUGGING convention? It's like someone saying he's going to canada for a stamp collection convention...."
"we all need to do something crazy once in a while"
"we're not sleeping right, not eating right, and we juggle all day"
"that should be the way ma"

well when we did eat, we ate well.
buffets buffets, yum yum.
One time after a buffet brunch, we were just in time to watch the competitions.

"wow we wake up, eat buffet, then spend the afternoon watching juggling. Is this indulgence or what! Really Sin City!"
"this is what a holiday should be like!"

"I'm like a kid at the candy store! i want to buy so much things! i'm spending too much. Damn i'm gonna feel the pinch when i get home and do my accounts"
"never mind, just buy la. Just do it man"

(i bought half a grand worth of juggling props in the end. *Ouch*)

the cool thing about jugglers is that they're very friendly.
you'll never run out of things to say cos just discussing juggling is enough.
sometimes you don't even need a common language, just action with the props.

At first i was quite shy and intimidated, surrounded by all these gods.
but after a while it was comfortable.
Sheng hau became buddies with the 2 ice cool dudes
Siyong clicked with the taiwanese diabolo guy wei liang
and i went around passing clubs with others and learning tricks from them

After the convention was over, siyong and I bumped into Tampei and Eric at the Desert Passage
it was like meeting friends even thought we hardly spoke during the convention
it's just really cool

CLOSING THOUGHTS

I love being at a convention
what liberation and indulgence
the hall is open all day 24 hours so if you want to juggle at 5am, just go down and juggle.
we've been there till 2am on some days and there're still many pple around. juggling.
was telling siyong next time we don't need to book hotel room, just sleep in the hall.

even in the room we were playing with the glow balls in darkness.
it's nice hearing 33 year old chi min saying he's getting "many moments of joy" messing with the glow balls.

"Don't you know boys never grow up. It's just that our toys get more expensive!"

"A friend of mine asked me whether i'm juggling as a form of escapism"
"Escapism? maybe..."
"i think we're just lucky to have found a hobby. very lucky"
"yup. we're lucky"
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"It's Like Being in a Dollhouse"


-the Effiel Tower of Paris


when we got bored juggling, we went to explore the hotels along The Strip.
My word it's exaggeration in it's most extreme form.

Luxur has a light beaming towards the sky that can be seen from the moon.

Bellagio has a musical fountain that shoots up to god knows how high. The swimming pool also has a fountain so kua zhang that Siyong exclaimed "pple go swimming in THAT?" Bellagio also has a chocolate fountain and a santa claus made out of chocolate.

Speaking of the musical fountain, we rushed out to catch the show on one damn cold night, only for the sound system to mess up and so in the end, instead of watching the fountains dance to some hypnotic opera music, we saw it dance to michael jackson.

"we may be the only pple to watch the fountain dance to Michael Jackson!"



-I asked siyong to take this photo with me pointing at the word. meaning finger point to "M". We were both tired and dazed (it was around midnight, after a 14 hour trip to Grand Canyon). I guess he was a little more tired than i thought. what am i pointing???

Mirage has a volcano that bubbles for a while before going BOM!
Siyong and I caught the BOM while walking past, and we thought that was the whole show.

"All these pple wait for 15 minutes just to see it go BOM then finish ah...."

After the BOM got sulphur smell somemore...like someone just gave a mega fart.


-inside the shopping area of the Venetian. This is entirely indoors. the ceiling is painted. Siyong says he read that if you watch the clouds close enough, they will change. hmm.....

Venetian has an indoor canal with boats.
It was beautiful inside and outside.
absolutely beautiful.
very grand.
there were pple playing violins as well and i felt like i was in Titanic.

Aladin has a realistic indoor thunderstorm.
Paris has an Effiel Tower.
New York New York has a statue of Liberty.

"i wonder what will be the theme of the singapore casino"
"merlion lor. they'll build a giant merlion...with beams shooting at malaysia. oh wait, they already have that in sentosa"

"they have paris here, they have new york here, the next one will be called BEII CHING. and they build the entire great wall."

Winter is off season in vegas. Harrah's has the world's best bartenders but they were closed for renovation. and so was Treasure Island's pirate show. Many show's were also off season, like Cirque's Zumanity which we wanted to catch.

chi min quipped "this is one Cirque show that will never go to singapore!" cos it's somewhat naughty, in between circus acts and sexy dancing.

Even then there were lots of stuff to do. Just exploring the strip can take 2 whole days if not more.

We stayed at the Riviera which looked a bit like Chinatown Pearl Centre. we were obviously not in the expensive part of the Strip.
Siyong suggested quite aptly that we were like in the Tanglin part of Orchard road, while Bellagio is machiam the Takashimaya.

THE SHOWS

you'll never run out of shows to catch
you'll run out of money first

the blue man group is there
Cirque has FOUR blockbusting shows there, and one more coming
Celine dion is there (heard it's fully booked for the next 2 months)
and then there was the world's greatest juggler currently, anthony.

i didn't really have that much time or money
so i only caught the show with the world's greatest juggler, since this is a juggling pilgrimage
it wasn't too bad, i like it
a little bit disturbed that the world's greatest juggler didn't deserve more, like his own show ala david copperfield
but more on that later

hey if singapore vision of a casino turns out to be like Vegas
then it's not that bad at all!
i thought vegas would be a sleazy place with mobsters in black trench coats and callgirls on streets
it turned out pretty safe and clean
a famliy place
somewhat like orchard road

the casino might bring in top class acts
and local acts might get groomed in the process
of course this is coming from a person who did not spend a dime gambling
there are probably social ills that are not visible
like the guide book says
vegas has a stunning inability to take care of its own locals
bring in the tourists and they will be fed and entertained
but the city itself has the highest school dropout rate and other stats

i wonder how having only one casino in singapore will work though
in vegas the whole strip is lined with hotels
and that's why the hotels keep getting grander and more magnificent, to up the stakes
we now have a light beaming to the moon
the next might be a levitating building

one casino might not be that competitive and attractive in that sense
maybe they should make the orchard road into the next strip
or convert the entire sentosa into a casino island

it's time for my juggling practice.
i need to spend less time blogging and more time juggling.
continue with part 2 later.
VIVA LAS VEGAS BABY!

The Day Hair Freezes Over

it's getting so cold here, it gets hard waking up in the mornings. Leaving behind the warmth of the blanket must be the most wretched part of the day.

anyway, yesterday my radio alarm blasted and woke me up with the weather forecast and they said it was 5 celsius out there. 5 celsius is good news by the way, relative to the bitterly cold below 0 celsius mornings we've been getting.

so i ran out my apartment in my usual morning dash and i saw my car covered in ice, much to my dismay.

i don't know whether i prefer driving in summer or winter. In summer it gets so hot the car is like an oven. which really isn't so bad cos i can wind down my windows. but the steering wheel absolutely burns up and driving using two fingers isn't much fun. Usually i'll have pieces of tissue paper everywhere to use as gloves. In winter, the cold isn't the problem. the ice is. especially in mornings when i simply do not have time to wait for the stupid ice to melt.

so this was another morning when my car was covered in ice. *groan*. no biggie, just have to do what i usually do and scrape the ice off. i unlocked the car door and yanked the handle. it didn't budge.

shit, of all days my lock fails me now. so i yanked and yanked and it still wouldn't budge. i went to the passenger side and that wouldn't budge too.

i sort of figured the ice had something to do with it but i'm not sure which part froze up, was it the lock or the door or what. and if i poured water would i just create more ice. or maybe my lock jammed on me and i have to call the mechanic. damn.

the best solution was, to wait till the ice melted and then try again. which meant i go to work after lunch. :)

that didn't happen.

I ran into the house because my hands were freezing up and it damn sure wasn't 5 celsius. i checked the weather channel and it was -2.5 celsius. 5 celsius was the high for the day!

after 15 min i went out to yank at my doors again and a lady nearby told me she had the same problem. Just get some hot water and pour it along the door cracks and it'll pop right open.

so i got to work 45 min late but at least not after lunch.

my colleagues were flabbergasted.

"you were planning to come AFTER LUNCH because your car doors froze? Just get some hot water!"

"i didn't know that's the solution! i come from a country where it's summer all year! we don't get problems like frozen cars! well it's a good thing i didn't call the boss and said i'm coming after lunch cos my car doors froze. it sounds very lame."

even though i came here during winter last year, i didn't have a car then so this winter is the first time i'm driving in winter and getting all these funky car problems. i've just learnt how to defrost my windscreen properly.

for the record, the hot water i poured on my car door froze up while it was flowing down the window. that's how cold it was. and for another record, i was stupid enough to use the windscreen liquid and flip my wipers to try and clear up the windscreen. the liquid froze up creating more frost than there originally was.

if i had taken a morning shower, i bet my hair would have frozen up too.

so that was the day, that hair could have frozen over.
---------------------------------------------------------------

MJ and i decided to find a juggling nick for ourselves, after MJ said he knows a breakdancer called Physics.

"Physics? he's called Physics? got surname or not. like Physics Tan?"
"don't know. i only know Physics."

"i'll call myself Spelling! exclaimation mark included. 'Hi, I'm Spelling!'"
"what about Compre...."
"haha....Compre & Compo. that sounds pretty snazzy too"

"Chendol sounds guyish...and Malay..."
"Chng Tng?"
"Chng Tng too cheena! but it does sound girly!"
"Attap Chee...Kampung...."
"they all sound quite cool actually....but cai dao kuei is a bit pushing it...."
---------------------------------------

it's time to update the Festival of Dreams !

(to MJ)
"the question is: do you want to take the normal path, which might not be bad at all, or do you want to veer away from it, and possibly have the time of your life, but also possibly end up with nothing at all?"

(from Cher)
"Find out what you most want to do, and then do it."

Murphy's Law went wrong

Today is one of those days where everything that can go wrong, DIDN'T!
So yes, its a happy day.

One of my car wipers busted a few weeks ago
was struggling with it in the parking lot and 4 engineers from the other side stopped by to help
which was really nice of them even though all they did was tear it up even more
(engineers...what can i say)
finally W swung by the nearest auto shop to get me one and slap it on

anyway, a few days ago my other wiper busted
blardy hell
it's a bit too much to ask W to get me a replacement again
so i had to hunt up and down for a wiper and then face the daunting task of slapping it on without tearing up more stuff

LUCKILY for me
not only did i find my wiper blade at walmart
they offered to change it out for me for free! :)

of course me being me
as usual anyhow gung ho swing into the garage without really knowing what's going on
just the other day i went to the car wash for the first time
and i swung in the tail end of the wash
where the cars are coming OUT
the guys there were looking at me like i was an alien
while i stared blankly at them like i didn't know what i was doing (i didn't)

so i just swung into the garage
and the car mechanic looked at me startled cos i think usually they signal pple in
i was parked smartly over the pit where they change the engine oil
and then i rolled down my windows and tell them i just need to change my wipers.
the mechanic looked like he dunno whether want to laugh or cry
-------------------------------------------

went over to another departmental store to get something a friend asked me to get
it was something abt a typo error so i can buy the stuff cheaper than it really is
so there was i
with a stack of papers printed from the internet as "proof"
trying to convince manager after manager that i'm not a conwoman from china

it was my lucky day so it wasn't much of a hassle in the end
they called the head office and they told her i'm the real slim shady
and i managed to buy the stuff at a cheaper rate :)

---------------------------------------------------

It's so freakin cold these days it might as well just snow
the chinese restaurant bosses say it's warmer in their restaurant refridgerator than outside
the fridge is 0 celsius, outside is below 0.
so if it gets too cold, run into the fridge

it's so cold now it's getting fun
it's like beyond the threshold of misery
the excitement of getting the tips of the ears and fingers numbed masks the misery of the cold
i like it, and i'm not being sarcastic

----------------------------------------------------

a friend who shall remain anonymous is now having a strange time in China
she's on a biz trip for 3 weeks and is sharing an apartment with a flatmate
which was quite nice, i thought, until she said her flatmate has a phobia of sleeping alone so she comes over to share her bed.

"she has to come over to sleep WITH ME!!! on MY BED!"
"please tell me it's a double bed"
"yes"
"is she lao lao one"
"she weighs 100kg"
"i ask you if she is lao lao one you tell me she is 100kg"
"i'm miserable can i call you now"
"friend it's 5.30am here i'm sleeping soon"
"i call you now. in 5 min. don't sleep yet!"
"you ah...too much man..."

the last time i talked to my long suffering friend, she finally kicked the roommate out of her bed
last i heard the flatmate moved out of the entire flat, not just her bed
long suffering friend is now machiam the much maligned evil twin who kicked her flatmate out.
china friend needs a hug from alabama chick.
*hug*

"i've come to learn that you can't please everyone. those that get to know you better will know the real you. those that don't, then don't lor"

----------------------------------------

"i hope one day you'll find what you're looking for", she says.

that line rang a bell.

in my single minded quest to pursue what i'm pretty sure i'm interested in
i've ended up in the strangest of places
one of my most memorable interviews was in a hospital
i think the fellas there called me in out of curiosity more than anything
it ended up more like a career couseling session than an interview
i told them what i was looking for
and they pretty much told me where i should be going, and this was not the place
Just before we parted, the interveiwer left me with the words,
"i hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck."

my quest may not be the smartest mission in the world
what if i go round and round and end up nowhere
there's so much advice on just going where the money is
what if that's the truth
and even if it's not the truth, at least i'll end up nowhere but with money will i not
so i can still afford the boob job i need during my mid life crisis

what if i do find what i'm looking for
will i stand on my chair in the office and shout "i win!"
will i live happily ever after
will i be able to afford the boob job i wouldn't desire

i do think, and still think, that if you like what you're doing
the money will come naturally
things aren't always that simple i know
it's just a romantic notion i'd hate to snuff out

think of it this way
if you're able to find your calling
not only do you get personal happiness
you're able to contribute your full potential to society
so everybody wins

oh well
like Feynman says
just do what excites you from day to day, there needn't be some grand life plan
he also adds
if you're good at nothing and average at everything, then he has no advice to give
he has never thought abt that.
(when i first read that, i thought "damn that sounds like me!")
-------------------------------------------------------------

i'm getting excited about Vegas.
I'M GOING VEGAS FOR JUGGLING!
now that's something you don't hear often.

it's nice watching the japanese competitors
it takes the invincibility off the other western god jugglers
i don't need to be blonde to be a good juggler
that's good to know

and whaddya know
there's a singapore contingent there
that's us!
it'd be great
it's like going to the World Cup
or Olympics
jugglers from all over the world unite
it's like the witches convention in The Witches
--------------------------------------

so i just sent my car to the car wash
borrowed a vacuum cleaner and vacuumed it real good
it looks like a spankling new car now
so nice
so proud of it
mom says i whole year don't wash the car, wait until want to sell then wash
that's one way of looking at it
another way of looking at it is
i'm washing the car PRECISELY cos i'm selling it

i'm selling the car for dirt cheap rates
i would buy if from myself if i have multiple personalities
restaurant boss says any cheaper and a bicycle will cost more than my car
---------------------------------

it was below zero celsius this morning
my car looked like ice kachang
my mornings are run at clockwork precision
any delays and i'm late
so i have no time to wait for ice kachang to melt

in the end i scrubbed ice off the windscreen
just enough for me to see straight ahead
and off i went

i felt like i was driving an igloo
ice everywhere
couldn't see the sides, can only see the shadows of trucks driving by

it's not as dangerous as it sounds
i'm a safe driver :p
my road to work is straight, so not seeing the sides is ok
and i drove slower and more carefully
so slow that i went to work late anyhow
it's quite loser huh
------------------------------------

some of the houses here have put up some amazing christmas decorations
i'll take some photos soon and post them
everytime i'm in that area i'd drive by
the weather is cold, the music is good, and you see this amazing lights
there really is a christmas festive mood in the air

a warm non commercialised festive mood
those decor at orchard road with soap bubbles simulating snow are a little weird in comparison

chinese bosses say these americans, so wu liao, we don't even have time to eat, they got time to put lights all over the house.
-------------------------------------------

Quote of the Day:
"Guys guys everywhere, but not a drop to drink."

Here're some gems:

(guy brings in some homemade alcoholic chocolate balls for everyone).
Lady to Guy: would you charge me if i said i wanted to chew on your balls?

Gossip from the grapevine:
"guess what she did for him on his birthday? she blew his candle out! and i'm not talking abt the one on the cake!"

You Live, You Learn
------------------------------
The Trouble with being Frank

at times i read the horoscope and it says aquarians can be too frank
which is kind of odd
because pple who know me will know that i can be the most indirect person in the whole of bukit gombak, and some say toa payoh
and i agree that sometimes my body language says a lot more than i verbally express

but these days i'm beginning to see that being frank doesn't always mean being tactless
it could just mean being honest as well
working in a project that involves team-members spanning across 3 organisations,
means that some things can be said and some things cannot be said
i'm not talking abt trade secrets
just stuff....i know and you know but cannot let this one know.....

which kills me
not because i sometimes say the wrong thing at the wrong time
(during lunch yesterday i let slip something and GB's eyes opened so wide she could have swallowed me with those eyes)

but because, i don't see the need to hide
if you're doing the right thing, what's there to hide?
if things are done above board and in the proper way, there is no need for secrets and conspiracy
because everything you question me abt, i have reasons to back me up
and if i don't have reasons or they're too ludicrious, then something is wrong...

sure sometimes we can be proven wrong,
so just explain the reasoning behind the initial decision
sometimes mistakes are made,
just apologize and be more careful the next time

it's not always so black and white
sometimes some things should not be revealed cos they cause a lot of unnecessary misunderstanding
but that's not to say i hide it
i won't volunteer the info, but if you know, you know. it's nothing wrong.

lying and stuff, i don't see it.
and i won't do it.
even in the absence of professional integrity
i still have personal integrity

get caught lying once too many times
and you lose all credibility

but to maintain the "whatever i say to you can be said to anyone" stance
can be complicated
because you start to get guarded and think abt what you should and should not say
and that's really lei cheh

most pple don't lie outright
they just phrase things differently
which also kills me sometimes to listen to pple do that
it's just too much PR
i know that it's needed
but it can be very artificial sometimes

some pple make it very difficult for you to be honest
they ask and ask and keep digging deeper until next time you just don't want to tell them anything, or worse still, cover up.
that's what i remind my mom sometimes
don't penalise me for being honest, you're encouraging me to lie.
she'll get stunned and think for a while, then disregard it and get back to her original nagging
one day she'll come up with a nice retort line :)

anyway i've been involved in several boo boos
usually i say things without padding them nicely, not that i'm tactless, but i never do PR padding
and i say things as they are, in an objective way
so sometimes it sounds quite bad
and even though i didn't mean it that way, i can't be bothered explaining myself further
it's too tiring

i can be frank in that sense then
i need more PR
when there's too much PR though, you wonder whether and when they're sincere

-----------------------------------------

Impressions

when i used to be kiddier than i am now
i wonder why adults have to yaya so much
family gatherings, company functions
you can hear pple talking abt themselves and their families
not really bragging i guess
but still some sort of self promotion
like i just bought some damn expensive something, my child is damn smart..sort of thing

some pple say why bother what others think
and i used to think yeah, why?

it's a little bit harder now
i still find it very lei cheh to explain so much why i'm doing this and that and do PR padding and just generally make sure i give the right impressions
some pple are very skilled at PR
but they brink on insincerity and they spend more time explaining why they're doing stuff than actually doing anything

but i can see why impressions are important
because in this adult world, pple don't spend enough time with you to get past first impressions
and again, humility is not a virtue
the louder your horn the more it is heard

and that is why there is all this self promotion going on
---------------------------

Inertia and Teamwork

someone said "that's why adults get so cynical. we all come in thinking we can save the world, and then we get cynical with time..."

when the team is massive, it's hard to get things moving. you work your ass off to settle something, and the ball gets stuck at someone else's court, and the issue remains as it was, which makes you wonder why you bothered doing it in the first place.

the next time another issue comes up, you wonder whether it's gonna get stuck again, so might as well don't bother with it. so nothing gets done.

like a massive bus, once it gets going, it gets going. there are those who charge blindly. they have evidence but their research is not thorough, however the bus is set in motion and there's no stopping it. in the end not only is the original problem not resolved, there is now a whole new set of problems.

and then there are those who ride on your coat-tails
if there're 20 pple carrying a canoe, one can afford to let go (and pretend to carry) and just let the other 19 take on a bit more

now i understand what they mean by big organizations sacrifice flexibilty compared to small companies
when the team is big you just can't move fast enough
75% of the time is spent persuading pple,
then finally when the decision to act is made
pple have their own workloads and different characters and different rates of procastination
---------------------------

it's a love hate relationship working with pple
it's tough working and being with pple whose values i don't appreciate
but it's quite a kick to be in the midst of it all

the only moral silver lining
is that character and integrity still counts in the long run
(poor me, when will i learn to be cynical)
you can sian and PR all you want
if the job is not done right, it is not done right
soon the cracks will appear

but the task is daunting
and soon the spirit will crumble
like a flower in summer
it needs water to keep alive
otherwise the sheep will turn to wolf
and another one bites the dust
------------------------------------------

The Way of the Juggler

i recently read Alan's journal.
he's was a full time performer when i left, now he's an even better full time performer i heard. :)

i like his journal.

"street performers perform because they ... enjoy bringing entertainment and laughter to everyone, they do not do it for money..."

"There are performers who risk their life fire-eating/breathing for your entertainment without knowing how much they can earn, would you do the same?"

------------------

i like the jugglers
mainly because, well, they juggle
but also because they have views that are different from a lot of other pple i've come across

Jimmyjuggler has a philosophy

Remembering a saying from one of his NTU professors, Jimmy Juggler says to me: “Be like a Vietnamese guerilla; farmer by day, warrior by night.” – meaning to follow your passion, but don’t give up your day job, he elaborates.

MJ lived his dream for a couple of years before compromising. He still performs part-time.
Alan has been performing since forever.

these guys who juggle/perform /entertain don't do it for the money because, well, there isn't any big money in it in singapore
they do it for the kicks and for the love of it

there is beauty in that
not enough pple are doing things just for the love of it

this is another great idea. it has everything i'm interested in...cafe...life..philosophy...performance space.....humanity....
i should get in touch with them one day.
---------------------------------