Life is Too Short to be Not Happy

"so you see," i told my colleague, "if i leave on time, i can get about an hour of sunshine to juggle on the field. If i leave too late, the sun will be gone and i can't juggle."

My colleague paused for a while. "Are you training for a tournament or something?"

"Er...no? i guess i'm training for a personal goal....but that's an interesting comment...."

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in 4 hours i'm gonna feel like a big piece of crap for having too little sleep
but i'm alive and alert now so i'll blog.

juggling session was not that great cos i'm not used to Radical Fishes anymore.
but explored some new moves with the clubs so it was still ok.
MJ and i chatted till 11 plus before heading home.....

came back and checked out the video juggler Darren was talking about
the more i searched for his vid the more other videos i found

Joe hague was the usual favourite, the hula lady was good too.
there's one by jugglerboy which is quite interesting.
and another by a Nashville club i was gonna join while in alabama (but they were 3 hours away by car)

also stumbled upon a video of Vladik on a talent show.
the judge dislikes jugglers...no matter what they do.

"you're....not like the amzing jugglers they have in las vegas..."
"you don't think i'm one of them?"
"no!"
(Vladik laughs)

We caught him at las vegas last year by the way.
he dropped by WJF for a cameo and gave a demo.
jaw dropping stuff.....he had one trick which truly defied the law of physics, we were discussing how it was even possible. Catch a ball on the foot, do a somersault and flick the ball in the air from behind you. Centripetal force like you've never imagined.
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Juggling is such a pretty art.

feel so inspired and excited now.
so many fun things we can do.
get a vid, get a show...there's no limit to what we can do.....
ah well,
Life is too short to be not happy.

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"Training for tournament, no la, training for something more priceless, your own target", darren said.
"ya really literally priceless, train for nothing at all", MJ replied.

All Is Dream

The last 3 weeks have been pure insanity.
I have a number of personal errands to run, and 6 months on coming back i think i've finally tied up all loose ends and "settled".

The customer came down last week.
so it's been a week of constant alert and tiring meetings.
while we're at meetings the world moves on outside,
so the things to be done have to be shelved and piled up until you have time to get out of meetings to do them.

it makes it worse that the meetings are mostly about action items.
so the things to be done get piled up and you add more things to be done.
was telling my teammate i think we've our work cut out for the next 2 months.

there were so many things to do, i don't even know where and which one to start.
so in true procastinator mode, all things shall wait till monday.

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work is ok yeah?
there are some good days and some bad days.
should/if/when one day i leave, i think i'll miss the pple there. somehow.

there is a certain charm and innocence working with aunties and foreign workers.
i love the duality involved
one minute I'd be listening to someone asking someone else to "zhuang qiang"

"you ask her to zhuang qiang ok? you know how to zhuang qiang? want me to show you?"

and the next minute i'd be in the meeting room minding my "p"s and "q"s and discussing the frequency response of cables.
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the weekend was a welcome break.
yesterday was a fruitful day.
got some shopping done, got more personal errands i've been putting off for months done..

we also had a sec 2 reunion yesterday.
my broadband connection broke down for 2 weeks and when i finally logged on there were mails galore.
reunions reunions everywhere.

it was really nice seeing them again.
11 years on, and we all look and behave the same.
there were some awkward "what you up to now" sort of questions
but after a while it was just comfortable cos we talked more of the past

of the terrifying Miss Chong
of the mascot we had. "what mascot?" "where did that dog come from? we had a mascot?" "obviously it wasn't a unanimous decision to have a mascot"
of Potato Tan the chem teacher who threw 5 pieces of chalk at Thecla.

of how Ee Ling had a high fever during the java trip and someone had a bright idea to put sliced potatos on her to absorb the heat
Of naomi and her afro hairstyle and her mouse halloween costume
of how monica set off the fire alarm when she tried to prove the fire alarm button protective plastic cover won't break "won't break wan won't break wan...BRRRRRRRRIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG"

it really was a nice gathering.
we've all grown and not quite grown.

i have a theory that you sort of behave differently with different groups of frens from the different stages of life
there are some things i can discuss with one group which i wouldn't with another.
and i can't put this eloquently,
but i think the group also draws out a certain character from you.

2/5 was special and i think last night, the part of me that was so alive at 14 came out again.

so much so that luisa quipped that weips and i haven't grown at all.
"we're still the toys r us kid!"

i'm also glad that steph is finally back and based in singapore.
somehow we always end up in different countries.
when she's back for a long break i got sent to alabama and when i'm back she's off to the States again.
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so there'll be lots of catching up soon.
looks like there might be a primary sch and JC gathering soon....
also some uni frens.....

and i desperately need to head back to my juggling project
that poor thing keeps getting shelved in light of more urgent matters.

it is still now just a vague idea in the air
but so far i've found a hobbyist musician who's interested to collaborate
an unsuspecting hobbyist fashion designer i'm hoping to rope in
and a multimedia designer who is also a juggler

isn't it so exciting, how things just come together when you open up the radar

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so many things to do,
so little time!

The Road to 5 Clubs is the Road to Depression

that was what i told willie the other day.
maybe what charlie dancey wrote in his Zen story was right,
you don't get to choose the pattern, the pattern chooses the juggler* (wah chim chim)
* not to be taken that seriously because the story is abt a bean bag who wants to be a club**
** the bean bag jumped into the sea and burst and the seeds got to the river bed and a tree grew and it got chopped down to be made into a club.

jugglers tell the best stories....*roll eyes*

anyway, back to our lesson on how to get depressed
Probably a month or so ago,
i got a sniff at 5 club success.
it felt right, and it felt like there was a breakthrough.
i was elated, finally the moment has come after so long.
and then it all went downhill.
as suddenly as it came, it went away.
the feeling was gone and i couldn't even do the 4 club version anymore.
so i tried harder and practised more and the more i did that the worst it became.

finally i stopped juggling for 2 weeks.
just didn't want to do it anymore, better things to do with my time than picking up clubs.
After 2 weeks things were fresh again and the enjoyment was back,
but stayed away from 5 clubs because woe behold those who dare step into the realm of 5

but now it's back!
yipee!
i went 'screw it' to all the warmup exercises and just launched 5 and friday was a pretty good session.
probably because i was dreaming all week of doing 5 on the field
i'm still cautious of this 'feeling'
it might just abandon me again

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working takes up a lot of time.
if i leave on time, i'll get back early enough to have one hour of sunlight to juggle on the field.
which i did on monday and thoroughly enjoyed.

so i tried leaving on time for the other days as well.
no such luck.
everytime i'm ready to leave, some kind of disaster will occur.
to add to the annoyance it's always on the dot too,
just when i'm mentally prepared to close shop.

thurs was the latest so far.
stayed till midnight.
met pple from all 3 shifts.
(XJ said that's good, now the 3rd shift pple know who's the one who gave them the chicken backside to click on. To my credit, i did not follow someone else's suggestion to change the "hit me" button on the backside to "kiss me")

somemore thurs nothing really traumatic was happening for most of the day.
just when i'm ready to leave i itchy backsidely decided to take a walk along the line to check that everything was alright.
the one walk that took me till midnight to complete.

i told the ladies/aunties they need to find me a boyfriend because i'm spending time at work instead of having romatic dinners outside.
they started telling me about finding a guy at work and oh yeah, there's a cute guy on the 3rd floor.
"ok ah, you all have my phone number right...."


I translated to V what we were talking about.
"i told them to find me a boyfriend cos i'm spending all my time here"
After a while he suddenly went:
"Ah, they don't know do they..."
"oei there's nothing to know! it's the truth! $$%@%@#$!#"

So the machines took turns to break down one at a time and i spent the entire night there.
at 11 pm got a call from another V and he effectively asked me to stay till 3am.
like hell i'll do that, i was supposed to leave at 5.30pm!

yesterday again i got a call from XJ to get something from her just as i was prepared to pack up
"after i go up i cannot come down liao then how...yesterday i took a walk up there and i could only leave at midnight!"
i went up anyway, pretending to look frighten everytime someone called me.
Thankfully everything was smooth so i could leave for juggling with ease.

it's kind of fun in a way....

V and i were talking abt KTV and how he needs 3 beers to warm up.
sister shot him a look and he had to hurriedly explain he's still a good guy.
"sister, he needs 3 beers and after that he thinks he's Elvis, that's why"
anyway V somehow managed to get the sisters to think of their favourite tunes and soon all the sisters were singing to him.
"All kana tricked la sisters!"

"one day KTV ah sister"
"ok no problem. i'll get ready my spaghetti straps and the clothes must have one hole here (points to stomach), one hole here(points to thigh), one hole everywhere"

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Yesterday was a good juggling session,
because well, 5 clubs was pretty cool.
it was crowded yesterday too.
heard from the grapevine that the authorities are not happy abt pple using the place and "damaging property"
i worry that one day they'll clamp the place down.
that would be extremely disappointing.
you don't promote street culture by building a clearly defined youth place and planting groups there and then close down places where street activites naturally bloom.

granted it sometimes gets too crowded to walk through comfortably
and it can get "dangerous" because there're things in the air and pple moving around
but if you can just see the look on the faces of the tourists and even some locals when they chance upon the place.
some admire from far and the bold asks for photos and videos with us (not just jugglers).
close the place and all these will be gone.

no sir, it is not common to see breakdancers, stunt cyclists, pop dancers, jugglers and light sabre swinging exponents all gathered in one big empty space.
we should be declared a tourist attraction. and if we can have some air con that'd be nice too.

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speaking of the light sabre exponents, i told min we should have a juggler vs light sabre duel.
"he can swing that thing all he wants, but can he deal with a juggler charging in with a 4 club fountain? and then you can enter from the side with a 5 club cascade!"

siyong, MJ and i gathered together at some point to do a 5 club endurance (which lasted all of 5 seconds)
we looked like we're doing our version of juggler's combat.

"someone needs to put a warning sign here. 'Beware- 15 clubs coming your way' "

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i bought the Fat Boy Slim CD.
now i'm thoroughly hooked onto it.
it's a good buy.
some of the songs on it i didn't even know it was from fat boy slim.

anyway Fat Boy Slim has an online juggling competition for the best juggling video to be featured in his next MTV.
of course this took the juggling world by storm and there're some interesting videos out there.
Unanimously this was the Juggler's choice.

The winner though, appears to be a lady doing hula hoop.
it's a quality video no doubt, but hula hoop is juggling just as ballroom dancing is extreme sport. (oops)
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Long post today.
just wanted to write.
actually i'm just waiting for my hair to dry so i can sleep.

did a gig today.
the first one in about 2 years.
maybe i'm rusty or maybe my interest in entertaining has waned.
it was ok i guess.

beaches are a juggler's nightmare though.
the wind is a devil.
and then there's sand everywhere....
on the props, in the bag, in your shoes.
and also no 5 ball juggling because the sand gets in your eyes.
it's really hot and tiring too..
so overall it's just uncomfortable and distressing.

when you do things for money (and i'm not referring to any particular gig, just in general)
and this feeling comes by also when the going gets tough at work
it feels a bit like prostituition no?
you make pple happy for the money.

the other thing i found out today
is that diabolos melt.
i've stuffed all my equipment into 3 huge bags before i left for america
now i'm worried about what i find in the bags.

some tiny white bugs love my bean bags,
the batteries for my lighted props have rusted,
and now my diabolo is a slimy mess.

i took the other non slimy one for the gig.
one guy threw it high, missed, it landed in the sand, and it broke into two.

now i need a new diabolo.
sigh.

The best way to cure online addiction...
is to place the PC in the warmest room in the house,
with the fan far away because the cord is not long enough.

Not that i'm addicted to the net.
but i'm in a sauna here.

just as well.
Grey's anatomy is half hour away.

last week went by in a flash!

that's what the world cup does to time.

it's been busy busy at work the past week
customer threw me a deadline and i can't bear missing the challenge of meeting the deadline.
it was really tiring though,
spent like 14 hour days on both mon and wed
and then Tues itchy backside went to meet MJ to juggle instead of recuperate.

the arrival of Friday was very much welcomed
spent the evening juggling with the folks
it was a Friday with a vibe. These don't come often.

My household is probably the only in singapore without cable,
basically the contractor forgot to wire it in when he built the house
and now it's too expensive to dig out all the dirt just to pull one wire in.

at least that's what my parents tell me.

couldn't find anyone to get off the comfortable couch and spent a hot humid evening outside to watch football with poor cableless me on Friday.
Was prepared to skip the match but hey what do you know,
reached home at midnight and my parents pulled me to the coffeeshop outside to watch football.

it was either i complained too much abt being cableless,
or it's the magic of the ticket sold by singapore pools.

The coffeshop was full so we had to stand (and it was hot and humid....argh).
which was ok but blardy germany had to score and drag it on to extra time and then penalties.
so i spent one hell of an evening juggling away and then stood for 2 hours in the koptiam.
it was pretty fun, can't even remember falling asleep.
i pretty much shut down abruptly like a laptop out of batt.

Spent most of sat in a daze,
but come night time it's football mania again!
this time managed to pull a bunch of colleagues out to chijmes to catch more football.
England england...what a fun end to a blardy long match.

we didn't have any energy left for the 3am match,
so we all headed home at 2 plus.
and became awake enough to watch the 3am match at home.
TV3 was showing it live (malaysia boleh!)
unfortunately i fell asleep in the 2nd half.

Dad barged into my room at 5am shouting "Brazil lost!"
and i was like "the match is over?"

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so then came sunday, the most intriguing of them all, sort of.
dragged myself up at 10am so i could meet the filming crew at noon.
and they came late by abt 2 hours.

it wasn't too bad,
i was kind of excited so my juggling went up one ante and i was having fun juggling at the underpass.

filming took up the entire day, most of which was spent waiting.
brought back memories of the lessons learnt from the Tokioki jido production.
if you've been an actress for 10 years, i dare say 9 years were spent waiting and only 1 year was spent actually acting or at least doing something.

For the curious,
we were filming for an Extreme Sport programme on channel 5.
let's just say the production crew has a very unique interpretation of "extreme sport".
we will be featured alongside ballroom dancing.

so while waiting for my turn, i took out 3 balls and started juggling while sitting crosslegged on the bench alongside the esplanade river.
i was listening to a nice innocent simple tune and i really enjoyed the moment.

i guess a bunch of korean tourists also enjoyed the moment because soon i was swarmped by visiting korean professors.
they started taking pictures with me like i was a mascot in disneyland.
i taught some of them how to juggle as well, it's pretty cool.

one day should go there to juggle for the fun of it.
it's a nice setting i think.
not a bad place to busk too, since it's filled with tourists.
the korean professors gave me two milk coconut sweets.

the esplanade bridge is the other find of the year.
it's annoying to juggle because of the wind,
but still a cool place to juggle.
i think juggling adds more spice to the already special ambience of the place.

when the sun went down they filmed us doing fire and light juggling.
oh does it look spectacular or what.
it was really dark under the bridge and to see willie's diabolo lights weaving through the air and chi min's fire torches blazing....a moment to cherish.
did i mention i'm a big fan of my lighted balls too?
the way the balls slice through the air illuminating the space around them....fantastic stuff.

the production crew and us were exhausted by sun dusk,
but you could feel the energy again after all the lights and fire came out.
they were probably pleased and mesmerized by the lights,
i know i was, and this is the 435th time i'm watching these.
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During dinner willie revealed that i was really a dominatrix in disguise,
because i saw myself as an elephant.

he was a whale so i'm not sure what's the interpretation of that,
the only thing that comes to mind is that a whale is kind of hard to turn over.

the only other thing that jugglers discuss during dinner is
"i don't think it's true that humans consume 8 spiders in their sleep in one lifetime"
we actually discussed statistics and hypothesis and theories regarding this.

well that's not the ONLY thing,
we also discussed abt gay gyms and 64 year old bus chee ko peis that go around touching men's chest...HAHA....i'll leave it as that before he kills me.

no wonder he wanted to arm wrestle me with his finger....

on the way back MJ and i passed by HMV.

"Yo min hang on i need to buy hambuger cd"
"you want to buy here?"
"ya la" (looking at him like what's so weird about buying a cd at hmv)
"Here got sell hamburger meh?"

After i got my hamburger cd he showed me the fat boy slim cd....
now i'm tempted to get that one too.

But first..on to grey's anatomy....before consuming the 2nd spider in my sleep......

(spent half hour juggling at the field today. what wonderful scenery! to see clubs flying against a backdrop of greens and houses and the setting sun!)