The One Where The Show Must Go OnI agreed to do a gig scheduled today, many weeks ago.
After this turbulent past two weeks, I wasn't quite up for it.
But it was a mingling event, so it wasn't too bad, not much planning needed.
The problem was that I haven't juggled in months,
but again, I thought, it's mingling, where your skills needn't be
that sharp.
I can get by with the more familiar tricks which don't need much practice.
then 2 days before the event.
"Can you do a stage show" the organiser asked.
"Er, no, because mingling is mingling. Stage is something else. I can't just 'mingle' on stage, it doesn't work"
4 hours later.
"How much more do we have to pay you to be on stage?" the organiser sms-ed.
I thought abt it and quoted something slightly higher than what I'd normally charge because I wasn't quite keen on doing it.
"Ok. set." the organiser replied.
The business person in me jumped a beat because "My GOSH this pays for the Cambodia trip!" (more accurately, the volunteer segment of the trip).
The showbiz part in me jumped a beat because "DAMN now I have a SHOW TO PLAN!"
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This was truly a breakthrough show for many reasons.
1) it's a 15 minute show. If I do a volunteer segment, 15 min is easy to kill. But I couldn't because (i) it's a stiff necked corporate event with all adults, i don't think they will appreciate silly stuff, and (ii) see reason (2) below.
In the end I combined two of my tried and tested routines together. I have NEVER done that. I had to do every trick I had in my bag, trust me, to get pple's attention for 15 minutes. And it actually works!
2) I headed down to juggle on Friday to get my bones and muscles ready for today's juggling marathon.
Expectedly, I got muscle aches all over on Sat.
Unexpectedly, I caught a virus.
It was too late to get someone to cover, I couldn't possibly leave the organisers with no performers on stage, and I was just stuck.
The entire Sat was spent drinking lots of water ("you need to pee again?!!" mom asked exasperatedly as we were in some complicated 'plumber-is-here-to-change-the-flushing-system' situation), downing lots of panadol and drinking weird three-leg cooling water.
I drank so much cooling water,
I caught the flu.
There I was on a sunday morning.
Body feeling lethargic, nose red and running, and just overall an unhappy clown.
I thought of John Terry and the EPL footballers.
How they play with painkillers to numb their pain from injuries.
How Terry got knocked out on the field and still came back to finish the game with head bandaged.
Pure passion.
"The show must go on."
"pple go work sick also take MC ma. it's not your fault you fell sick. no need to feel guilty." the devil on my shoulder whispered.
"God give me the strength to last these hours. Let's just do this spurt. Put it all out, no holding back. After 4pm, whatever happens happens. Amen."
Flashback to sec 4,
when i caught a flu bug but still went for badminton training.
As i headed home, i bumped into Gong Lao Shi.
"You have a flu and you still went for training?" she asked.
"Yea, cos they said sometimes when you exercise the flu bug goes away," I said matter of factly, nose red and running.
(silence)
"who said that?" she asked, looking quite amused.
"tzo ai", i replied, and then realised maybe her advice wasn't that sound after all, given that i felt worse than before.
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I was still downing panadol on my way to the gig.
So there I was,
lugging really heavy huge bags,
nose running,
standing in the train in my costume.
I went to a bakery to get bread for lunch
and took out my money pouch which was a really pathetic plastic cover.
(I didn't want to bring along my wallet as losing my wallet and the cards inside will be too much trouble)
On hindsight,
I must have looked like a REALLY poorly paid performer.
take MRT, eat bread for lunch, lousy plastic money pouch.
it dawned on me that performers probably usually cab or drive to their venues.
More professional yes?
Wasn't feeling sorry for myself,
just fairly amused.
"you're taking the train like that?" Mom asked bemused.
"yea bag too packed. don't want to pack extra clothes," i grunted grumpily.
Dad has stopped asking ever since he saw me carry the mop-pole-with-plunger-head all the way to pasir ris in the train.
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The show was fabulous.
The hour of mingling before the stage show gave me lots of warm up.
I was still feeling lethargic, but not too bad.
There were lots of juggling in my routine
and I DIDN'T DROP!
Like WOW!
I had sneezing bouts in between here and there,
but none on stage.
I don't know how i would have handled sneezing wearing a mask.
Somemore it was indoors so it wasn't so hot that it'd trigger long sneezing bouts,
and the crowd was quite sparse and dispersed so the mingling effort was reduced.
it was super super cool.
Thank You God! Thank you thank you thank you!
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STAGE FRIGHT BYE BYEIt was a breakthrough of another kind today when i went on stage.
I suddenly realised, I have NO MORE stage fright!
all the toastmasters training has truly helped!
I've always thought TM will help in my on-stage communication,
but this was an unexpected breakthrough.
and it happened so suddenly.
I've never really been crippled by stage fright,
but i still get butterflies in my stomach and cold hands when i'm on stage.
I usually just turn it into adrenaline, but it doesn't work too well for juggling because excitement and cold hands don't pair well with juggling.
The first time I felt this no fright phenomenon was in the division contest (which I lost, hmmph).
Shan got me to go on stage to try out what it feels like before the contest begun,
and while I was standing there looking at the empty chairs,
I just felt so comfortable.
Like this is MY stage.
and this is MY audience.
I felt the same when I rehearsed on the stage today.
the empty chairs again, this time in a much much bigger ballroom.
MY stage.
MY audience.
During the show when the chairs are filled with pple,
there was an incredible peace and calmness.
MY stage.
MY audience.
it's phenomenal.
all these weeks of doing evaluation on stage have worked wonders!
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JAP BUSKERS IN TOWNOn friday while attending juggling after months of absence,
one of the jugglers told me abt a japanese busking event in singapore.
and guess what,
it's starting next week!
talk abt uncanny timing.
i'm so duper excited abt this event.
I've throughly enjoyed the last event,
the jap buskers are true originals and some are downright hilarious.
the last time I watched them i was so inspired i came up with a crazy shit routine,
which i did perform and i forgot what the reaction was like,
but it was really whacky, and i enjoyed it.
One of my favourite groups will be coming down.
I missed them the last time they came and i'm so bummed.
I won't miss them this time!
They're laugh out loud funny,
somewhat like the blue man group.
very irreverant humour, very strange, very funny.
I wish I can find pple to form a group like that.
(sneak peek: weips and I are getting bored lately and thinking of doing an Old Birds Has-Been Asian round the world concert.)
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ELIJAHIn my bipolar depressive mood last week,
the story of Elijah in the bible kept ringing in my head.
Elijah was a prophet of God,
and after a huge victory with God where he eliminated many false prophets,
the evil queen went out to kill Elijah and he went into hiding, depressed and demoralised.
He hid in a cave and God gently whispered to him,
"What are you doing here, Elijah?"
I love that scene in my head.
God's voice, in my mental theatre with that scene,
is one of compassion, empathy and bemusement.
Like an adult coaxing out a child crying below the bed.
"what are you doing here Elijah?" God asked as his giant eye peeped into the cave.
And in my little theatre,
Elijah probably looks a bit sheepish.
Like, "erm...hmm...what AM I doing here?"
For the record,
God also sent an Angel,
to get Elijah to eat and rest.
Basically nurse him back to health.
It's a powerful story that reminds me of God's love and compassion and care.
And in some ways,
I feel that God is gently nursing me.
not just with food and rest,
but also with juggling inspiration.
I would never have dared to take up a stage show gig now, given that I haven't juggled for months.
So He forced one on me.
I needed it,
because it's only when i'm performing,
that i enter the realm of magic.
where my heart and soul gets engulfed in a different world.
God also reminded me this time,
that we just have to give our time and effort, and He'll do the rest.
He did just pay for the volunteer segment of the Cambodia trip, you know.
