The Tribe has Spoken

My journey for the contest has ended.
Got 2nd at Division Level.
The winner goes on to Macau, where it's the final stage. the pinnacle, the ceiling.

i lost to the lawyer. :)
He was definitely the favourite for the contest.
A seasoned and established contestant.

So far all the winners I've seen at Division level are all the established and well known ones.

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i'm fairly bummed.
it didn't feel magical today,
but i've put in everything that I felt could win it.

i guess i feel bummed because there was a real chance I could have taken it.

but there's still a gap.
His was a polished delivery,
it was almost like a summation to a jury.

mine was too fast and too unprofessional.

ARgh it was so close man.
but i lost to a better contestant,
and in that there is no shame.

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At least now I can get back to making speeches,
which is my first objective.

Quite amusing to think back over the last 2 months.
I was never serious abt the evaluation contest.
And honestly inside me i know that winning an evaluation contest is like being a performer during half time in football -- it's not the MAIN point.

But being a good evaluator is not without its benefits.
i am now my greatest critique.
it has trained me to really look out for speech techniques,
and now it's putting everything i've learned and observed into my own speeches.

For the last 2 months the club has been making me evaluator for every meeting to train me.
i appreciated it,
although i got a bit bored.
but it's still funny.
some of the speeches were tremendously hard to evaluate.
there was a project on persuasion which i had NO IDEA what the speaker was trying to convince us on,
and then there was KT's speech which was on the other end of the spectrum.
how do you critique a professional speaker.

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I still remember the first contest.
the club contest.
i didn't even bring paper.
so i had to approach my fellow contestants for paper,
and after rummaging through his briefcase he handed me recycled paper.

laksa was pretty cool.

the area contest was exciting because of the brainwave idea of using props which got me excited.
but i didn't think abt winning, it was still abt having fun.

it was at the division contest that i started to seriously think abt winning.
and i wanted to curb that because i do best when i don't think of winning.
but i didn't want to be too flippant either.

when i did a prayer today,
i asked that the most important thing, more than winning,
was for God to be with me and let's do a good performance together.

before i drew lots today I randomly thought "i want slot 4",
and i really got slot 4.

and i wondered, at that time, whether it meant i'll get whatever i asked for.
and then i wondered, should i just pray that i'll win.
but i stand by the prayer.

more important than winning,
is giving a good show.
that's performer's ethic.

and if i lost despite a good show,
then i lost to a better person,
and there's no shame in that.

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when i begun, i didn't expect anything.
now i'm 2nd place at division level.

i should be thankful.
and i am.

it's just that sometimes you want more when you have more.

i'm still pretty bummed.
but it's fine.

it was amazing while it lasted.
now let's put what i've learnt into my speeches,
which was always the point right my dear?

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on a sidenote,
the club support was incredible.
abt 20 of them came,
and they even brought whistles.

it was hilarious,
like i came with a gang of supporters.
they were all laughing and joking and whistling away,
and after the event we were taking photos like i just won the championship.

it was tremendous.
they were simply wonderful.

the next time,
i must slow down, and be professional.

the wisest mind always has something yet to learn, amen?
AMEN.

PMS.

shit.

not only does it make me depressed,
it's making me physically tired.

Peaceful moments can be found like this:

"Listen to the music of the moment, maybe sing with me
I like peaceful melody"

Had a sudden craving for a song which i only knew its tune.
dunno the lyrics, singer, or title.

good luck humming to google.

can't believe i found it.
Craving satisfied. hmmm.

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Quotable quotes from the last two days.
physically tired, but inspired inside.

"When you think abt it, you realised how incredibly blessed we are. I just saw on TV that the entire world has a population of 6 billion pple, and 1 billion are suffering from hunger. that's like abt 15% of the world. In the blink of an eye I could have been born in a poor country.

But God placed me here in singapore. We're not hungry, mostly well educated, no natural disasters, and we're bilingual in the top 2 most spoken languages in the world.

And for me, I cannot hold on to these power and gifts. I wonder why God placed me here. He didn't put me here to hog the gifts. We are here to give. We are so blessed that we must bless."

-Delia, missionary / social entreprenuer (Peru/SG/Cambodia)
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Just had a toastmasters session where KT pulled me in to evaluate her,
to prep me for the contest.

KT is a professional coach and speaker,
and her "special talk" this evening was 4 times longer than the usual speech.

I think i made a mess of the evaluation.
haha.

Once again KT never fails to inspire.
she has already struck me as someone I might one day ask for mentoring.
(if she doesn't charge too much!)
They always say get a mentor right,
someone you want to emulate.
KT fits into that.
she always looks like she's having so much fun.

But today in her speech where she shared a personal story,
I realised how alike we are.

Like me,
she could never find satisfaction in her jobs.

Like me,
she didn't believe at first that she could strike it out on her own. Do her own thing, pursue her passions of helping, training, coaching.

"I have nothing! Train what? coach what? who would want me??"

Unlike me,
she actually walked it.
Been there, done that.

she got herself a life coach,
stripped away her garbage,
and just had fun.

so there we were.
at the end of the session,
where she evaluated my evaluation.

she was a bag of sparkles,
i was a sack of tired bones and eye bags.
her voice had life,
my eyes were dull as dead fish.
she had ideas,
i had headaches.

she's a decade older.
it might as well have been the other way round.

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oh i'll get water and electricity in cambodia.
yay.
finally got confirmation that we'll be staying in a "bungalow".
not exactly bukit timah style i reckon.

and we'll be helping to "set up computers", amongst other things.

"what if 'setting up' means digging the ground and laying the network cable?"
"we use scotchtape and paste along the road lor."
"and future volunteers will look at our work and go 'those singaporeans.....'"

"you guys will also need to train them on maintaining the PC"
"Tip 1: pull out power plug and push it back in"

we'll be teaching primary school kids,
the teachers of the kids who look like teens themselves,
and a school with teens.

who knows,
maybe the school with teens will come out and be teachers themselves.

cool.
looking forward to the trip.

not particularly inspired lately.
hope genie comes by for the contest.

Not Happy Not Happy

I'm a person of thresholds.
My threshold of untidiness tolerance is higher than my mom's,
which brings its share of complications.

The point is,
I'm able to live with a certain state of entropy,
until it surpasses even my levels of tolerance,
and then I'll dedicate one day to putting everything in order,
sort of a reset mode,
and then let it slowly degenerate until it goes above my threshold again.

i've just reached a threshold of another kind.
and it's time I step in and say "that's enough".

a circular marshmallow in a jar of triangular marshmallows.
There's nothing wrong with triangles,
there's nothing wrong with being round,
but there's something wrong with a circular marshmallow trying to be triangular.
it will never be a triangle,
and it'll just end up like some bloated ready to burst badly made triangle.

It needs to be with other circles,
and celebrate their roundness.
And contribute their roundness in their own ways.

From the beginning I've msg-ed a friend,
"none of my strengths are being utilised where i am now".
and if i thought time will fix all things like it has so far,
then time has proven me wrong.

this will be the first place i'll leave without feeling satisfied,
it'll also be the first place i haven't performed in since every organisation from primary 1.
wonder if there's a link in there somewhere.

i should try doing things completely differently for these few months.
hmm.
ass to the world you know?

GAME ON

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this was getaway weekend.
weips is back and we headed to the KTV till 3am.
how 2 pple can sing for 4 hours is quite bewildering.

weips with KTV is always something else though.
we'd remix our own songs
by singing random lines from other songs. (and they sound quite good too!)

this session's theme was singing nonsensical words
(ketchup song, enigma, jaiho, name game anyone?)

we even found one called "the logical song".

"What kind of song is this??" weips asked midway through the song.
"The Name Game is more logical than the logical song!"

then we had a battle of the divas and a Ting Tings medley.
"The Ting Tings AGAIN???" weips screamed.

"that's not my name! that's not my name! that's not my name!"


Booze and screaming at the top of my lungs.
just what i need at the moment.

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Met up with Poot on sat for more booze.
The booze and late night gave me a headache but i slept like a baby.

music, football, booze, screaming.

it was all pretty fun.
now i know why pple turn to alcoholism and materialism.

it's a good outlet when there's nothing to look forward to.

for those who say you shouldn't let work define who you are,
then i ask, why the hell spend so much time on it then?

~~
All around are me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

It's a very very,
Mad world, Mad world
~~

Journey in Evaluating

More on the evaluation contest.
these days working is my full time job and church/toastmasters is my night shift job.

My parents are now curious abt why i've been coming home with "cheap-$5-trophies".

After I explained to them what the contest is about and how my next competitor is a senior lawyer, my mom paused and then replied thoughtfully,

"the lawyer so free one ah?"
"Is the law firm closing down?", Dad added helpfully.

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Met up with the international director for Toastmasters today for some contest tips.
He came on account of our club mentor, who is his good friend.

that's what i love abt this club,
it's a great mix.
there're the mentors with the vast network of contacts and experience,
and they're quite serious about competition,
and yet, the atmosphere is casual enough for a hobby club.

So you can come to chill or to compete,
there's something for everyone.

I learnt that my points are all kuching kurup,
at the next level it's a different ball game.
Quite stressful to do things differently from what i've been doing,
but so interesting.

there's so much more to Public speaking than i originally thought.
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Juggling gigs are periodically coming back again.
yay.
I still like to juggle,
just don't have time for it any more.

so many many many things to do.

I just found this and it's super cool:
http://www.lolentertainers.com/site/entertainers/yvonne.html

one day all the dots will connect.
in the meantime,
i'll just jump from dot to dot.

The One With The Evaluation Contest


erm...i just won the Area contest today.


Here's how it goes:

5 clubs make an area, 5 areas make a Division, divisions clump to become District, and all the districts make up the world.


My next stop is the Division contest, where the results are already out that one of the competitors is a senior lawyer and a seasoned contestant.


If I somehow win the Division, my next stop is the District contest, which will be in Macau and the other competitors will come from HK, Thailand, Macau and SG.


The winner of THAT goes to the US, but not for the evaluation contest, that stops at district level.
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there was a hilarious speech by one of the champion speakers 2 years ago.

He said "If you win the humorous speech contest, you're really funny. If you win Table Topics, it means you're great at quick thinking impromptu speaking. But if you win evaluation, like ermmmm...what does that really do?"


All the district evaluator contestants were supposed to evaluate his speech by the way.


it was really funny as he kept poking fun at the evaluators.

it was a masterclass speech.

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SO,
I have no illusions of being a great speaker because my progress is in the evaluation contest,
and like the guy says, "what does that really do?"


but the journey so far has been wickedly fun,
and if anything,
i feel like God/Divine Creative Genie is having fun with me on this.


And lest I forget,
I'll list down the odd stuff, the random bits of inspiration that popped from nowhere, the touch of divine that has guided me every step of the way.


Perhaps that is the purpose of this journey.
to be aware of the divine, to be the vessel and let it flow, and to always give thanks.


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1) several months ago I chanced upon an advertisement by a professional speaker in the papers.
He has always advertised that he won high level toastmasters contests but I've heard him do presentations several times and he never quite engaged me completely.


Anyway this time for some reason, it caught my eye that it was the evaluation contests that he won. And i remember thinking, maybe winning evaluation is not that hard.



2) There were several evaluation training sessions at the start of the contest season, by experienced competitors sharing their experience and strategies. I never had the time to go, and besides, I was in this just for the fun and experience, so I never found the need as well.


By sheer divine intervention, I learnt all I had to learn, while making small talk with pple.


One was when I was casually talking to a verteran toastmaster while we were waiting for the club session to start. This was way before the contest season begun. He told me of the importance of summarizing, that is where most pple do badly.


I had no idea we had to summarize for evaluations. In fact I always thought it was a waste of precious time.


Another impt tip came, check this out, when I was making small talk with a humorous contestant while waiting for the contest to start.


I was sitting next to him,
both of us waiting for the contest to begin.
And he mentioned that he attended one of the evaluation talks.


"oh what did you learn?"
"I learnt abt going in depth. Don't just cover breadth and do many points. Go deep, help the speaker"


I never had that concept of going deep for evaluations.


and this i learnt, 30 minutes before I was on stage!




3) The laksa inspiration. From nowhere. Laksa. Si ham.




4) After I won the club contest, the club tried to give me practice chances and gave me stage time every session.


And every time, I lost the vote for best evaluator.


it didn't bother me that much, save for the fact that it's quite embarassing and I felt like i was a one hit wonder letting the club down.


And it was at this point that I found out, the more I try to "win" it, the more it can't be done.
I had to let my Divine do its work.
This was never my contest.

Area Contest

5) Had a random thought while doing my hair in the morning. Props, spects, mole. So I brought them along, not knowing how or when I might get to use them. I've gotten used to just going with the flow of these strange random thoughts. I do remember feeling very excited abt the idea.

6) Just before I left the main room for the contestants briefing area to draw lots for our turns on stage, Shan told me "I hope you get the last slot. The last person always wins!"

I paused and struggled to think of something religiously neutral to say until i ran out of time and just blurted "Ok thanks for the tip I'll pray for it before I draw lots!"

I graciously allowed the others to draw first and somehow I really got the last slot, without me even picking! (I did say the prayer before we began picking)

I began to feel the presence of Genie. And we shared a secret smile.

It was pretty cool too i thought, that the last words the folks in the main room heard was that "I'll pray abt it", and it came to pass.

7) The last moment of divinity came just before I went on stage.

I was sitting and waiting for my turn, still deep in my train of thoughts for my delivery, and the contest chairman, this very round bubbly guy (he reminded me of the laughing buddha) with a deep manly voice and intense stare, stood in front of me and whispered,

"It'll be alright. You'll be fine." (*reassuring smile*)

I looked up at him when he said that, and there was this really strange feeling. It's like obviously it was him talking to me, and yet it felt like it wasn't him.

i let the image of his smile and stare and the sound of his voice bounce in my head for a while before finally understanding.

"It'll be alright. You'll be fine."

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I did use my spects by the way,
as a tribute to the inspiration.

I liked what the speaker was trying to do, and she seemed to like my evaluation. In fact after the contest, we were still going over more evaluating points.

"You know, in the speech when I was recounting that low point in my life, I never thought that I was suicidal, as you kept putting it in the evaluation"

"Oh dear did i misunderstand your speech?"

"No! i mean, now that I think back of the time, you're right! I was suicidal!"

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What a ride.

To be aware of the Divine, To let it work through you, To always give thanks.

This was never my contest. And ironically, it has never felt more empowering.