"(They) take too little trouble to cultivate the acquaintance of people who do not particularly appeal to them.

they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable.

And if they are deceived their anger is terrible.

If disillusioned, they do not forgive."
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I am sad.
today, one of my friends disappointed me.
i don't even know if he can really be called a "friend", since i don't know him that well in the first place.
yes it's a "he", and it's not a dating thing.
and it's a "he" over here, so no drama across the ocean.

He helped me a lot when i first came over, so i feel quite indebted to him.
and yet as you get to know the person more, you start seeing ugly sides...

everyone has ugly sides
but i'm friends with my friends because their pros outweigh their cons
bascially i love them more than i hate them

for this friend
his little things here and there has been tilting the balance
but i'm indebted so i allow a lot to bounce off me
unfortunately today i think the balance finally shifted

it annoys me when pple jump to conclusions and be stubborn and dogmatic abt their views
and when this behavior results in serious consequences, it's not just annoyance anymore

i hate it when pple start accusations without doing thorough checks
for example
if i were to accuse you of stealing
i'd better be damn well sure i know my facts for sure

or if i were to accuse you of being a bad worker or ruining something
things that can cost you your job
i'd also be damn well sure of the facts

even worst than that is when you don't accuse pple in the face, but spread rumors behind them and to the boss.

it's terrible and a freaking waste of time.
----------------------------------

he didn't accuse me of anything
the story is
i told him a work related anecdote that W told me, something that was not done right previously
he heard wrong and thought i was talking abt someone else

"who W#### did it? he works under me i'm his boss now, i'll speak to him abt it"
"no no, not W####"
"you just said W###"
"i said W"

what i meant was i said "W" told me the story, but he understood it as W did it. i was exasperated by then and i knew the more i said the more names i'll drag in dirt so i just left it alone.

Before i knew it, the "W did it" story has been spread (behind his back) and even to the boss.

i'm blardy annoyed. First, he was so stubborn and adamant abt it, possibly cos he is prejudice. His guys can do no wrong but others will. Adamant about the wrong facts never mind, spread the word somemore. spread never mind, spread to the higher levels somemore (and i think it was totally un-necessary, cos it was not a big deal).

i did try to correct him, but he's the kind who'll jump on your every word and twist to what he wants to hear so i gave up. Leave before i drag everyone's names in.

and now i feel guilty. W is a good friend and i feel like i sabo-ed him since i brought up the story and i did not fight hard enough to correct the facts.

W still doesn't know abt it. it's not so serious that the boss will talk to him about it but the boss will bear in mind. Was thinking of telling W abt it so he can defend himself if need to but i dun want to look like i'm setting them up against each other. Thought of going back to correct the facts now but the more i say the more names i'll drag in mud.

it's so complicated and un-necessary!!! what a waste of effort and time! freaking cheese bun.

i'm still very annoyed
i dun really want to speak to him now unless it's work related
because whatever i say is so easily mis-interpreted and distorted
but then i remember all the help he gave me
and i feel like i shouldn't be like this

why can't pple just live and let live and mind their own business?
why must we spread bad things abt others?

;o(