4 Years On

4 years on,
and how far have I come.

----------------------------------
Once upon a time, I naively thought, all my childhood dreams would come true, each and everyone. Till I grew up and age in years, I came to the realisation that, life is like a hot air balloon, if you wish to go any higher, you gotta throw out the sandbags, one by one.

Gradually, in the end, all my dreams have been thrown away.

And me? I have become the person that I knew least. "

~by dunno who. quoted from someone else.
----------------------------------

When we stop playing, we are indeed already dead. We become living corpses, observing and talking about others' games, lamenting how our lives are empty and meaningless.

Deliberating endlessly on whether we should or should not follow our hearts and pursue our passion is not playing. Taking the first step into the direction of our dreams is playing.

http://juggleress.blogspot.com/2004/07/from-gone-fishin-is-life-is-game.html

---------------------------------------

you wake up and you have no idea what is going to happen today, tomorrow, 6 months or a year later. Ironically, because of this uncertainty, all possibilities exist for you.

http://juggleress.blogspot.com/2004/06/stop-complaining.html

------------------------------------------

"for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also"
-Matthew 6:21

-----------------------------------------------
"All you need is faith in your decisions and choices."
"How do i know which one to go with?"
"I think you already know."
--------------------------------------------

Once upon a time,
I was so much happier.

"according to the horoscope, aquarians are highly analytical pple.
Money and material wealth and other common pursuits are not important to them.
when they get into emotional arguments, they will be more puzzled than angry on why the other party reacted that way.

i hate the idea of working just for the money.
it makes me feel like a worm.
(a bookworm. haha. from now on that's a degratory term)
it's something cemented into me during my holiday admin job a few years back.
the job was meaningless and boring and i was really just there to while time away and for the money.

and i never want to feel like that again.

and i think, maybe in a warped sense, i have been taking on low paying jobs just so that i CAN'T work for the money, cos it's too little.
i need to have alternative reasons for working there.
Think KFC, think bookworm.
KFC was pretty strange, there came a time when i was hanging there just to see if i could take the hardship of standing and being stressed for 8 hrs. "

http://juggleress.blogspot.com/2004/08/one-with-bookworm-club-aka-my-virgin.html
-----------------------------------------------

4 YEARS ON....WHAT HAVE I LEARNT?

yesterday i walked from the MRT to Holland V.
I got lost.
and it was raining.
and it was crappy.
cos I have wet shoes two days in a row.

But i knew the general direction.
so i walked.
I walked up hills to find myself nowhere.
and I walked down again, cursing and swearing.

I walked down dark stairways,
I walked through empty void decks,
i was lost.

But i knew the direction.
and i kept walking, until i saw the bright lights of cold storage.

You need to know the direction.
Otherwise you'll just walk in circles.
Otherwise you'll give up.

"At 18 i panicked cos i didn't know what i wanted to do (and in singapore you don't actually get the opportunity or time to find out).

After i graduated i panicked cos i didn't know what i wanted to do.
Today i'm still quite unsure what i want to do.
Maybe 30 years later i still dun know.

but one philosophy never fails me. "follow your interest-let it be your compass".

i forgot which book that came from. sekali it's from a rap song.my interest is slowly taking more visibly solid shape, i think. Wonder where it will take me."

http://juggleress.blogspot.com/2005/07/following-post-was-written-while-i-was.html

------------------------------------------------

Young Juggleress to Old Juggleress alert.

what happened?