M.A.D. 3/100 -- Good Day

what a week it had been.
in true itchy backside procastinator fashion,
i piled up the entire week with stuff and did them all at the last second.

can't say i didn't somewhat enjoy it. :)

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mon was spent drafting my TM speech for Tues.
it kind of backfired because mon night i didn't feel like it was right.
i couldn't bring out the conviction, something wasn't in sync.

but it was too late to change.
so i did the speech anyway.

it didn't go that bad.
but couldn't nail it.

it is ok.

i'm now worried for my speech contest.
don't care whether i win or lose.
it's the humourous part i'm worried abt.
maybe i shld just go the other way and tell the saddest story i can think of.

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Wed was spent preparing for Thursday's cell gp presentation.
it didn't go too bad.
but thought it got a little too boring for my liking.

i get bored easily.

i'm ok if i'm an audience,
but if i'm a presenter i like to shake things up a bit.
not sure if that's appropriate for a cell group setting.

it went alright.

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Came back late on friday night and i had sat's gig to prepare for.
so that means no sleep.
Finally got some sleep at 9am sat morning till noon,
so could squeeze in more practice before meeting the shepherd.

i really should get some sleep soon.

now downloading free ringtones for my dad.
many fart tones out there. some are quite funny.
prob enjoy it more if i wasn't so tired.

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it was a pretty nice chat with the shepherd.
talked abt ballerinas and "when cutting meat in fine dining, do you fork the piece you're eating or the piece you're not?"

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the gig didn't go that great.
made many mistakes,
and i still have that feeling that i'm all fluff and no substance.
really should change that one day.

but one thing that made me really happy,
was that my 15 minute routine raised $100 for charity.

it was a conscious call during my routine to get pple to donate.
i was surprised by the genorousity,
but it was for charity after all.

it really feels a lot more satisfying than a paid gig.
if a gig doesn't go that great (like today),
i usually feel terrible.
It feels like prostitution if i get paid.
If i'm not, it feels even worst. like super itchy backside.

but for today, it didn't really matter how the gig went.
cos the main point was the $100 i raised for the needy.
very cool.

all the pain of spending the whole night brainstorming.
sacrificing sleep to get that last practise in,
and desperately trying to keep within schedule (shepherd kindly volunteered to buy the whistle and cucumbers for me).

it started raining somemore
(the rain stopped immediately after i sent an "argh! it's raining!" sms to shepherd. hmmm)

I took a cab to the venue because i was really stretching my toughness limits by that time,
and i was thinking 'this is turning out to be an expensive and strenous gig!'

but on hindsight,
it was pretty fun.
and that $100, that's just sweet.

In a way, i feel like that's my first lesson learnt on these baby steps into the journey.
Use your talents to help. We all need to give.

Here's the M.A.D score so far:

1) Balloon Gig at Hougang - Hope Centre raising bursary funds for Needy students
(27 July 08)
- 5 hour gig twisting balloons and selling them at $2 each, not sure how much was made in total
-Personal Benefit: Able to pass on a gig opportunity to Moses. He generously gave his time on my account, it was the least i could do to return his favour.

2) Balloon Gig at Hougang - Hope Centre raising bursary funds for Needy students
(28 July 08)
- 3 hour gig twisting balloons and selling them at $2 each, not sure how much was made in total
- Personal Benefit: Learnt the Bugs Bunny sculpture from Moses.

3) Tapestry (vivocity)- Raise funds to build library for association of visually handicap
(17 August 08)
- 15 minute busking routine. Made $100.
-Personal Benefit: Satisfaction of giving.

i'm sure as the journey goes on, i'll learnt a lot more about myself, my shows and God will reveal His plans more to me.

As a disclaimer in case jugglers are reading and unhappy that i'm spoiling market, the above first two gigs are church related and (3) is a self solicited gig (i asked them for a slot instead of the other way). Which means that so far, all the M.A.D gigs are such that if i didn't do them, they won't bother looking for jugglers anyway.

time to sleep.

oh a short testimony before that.

I reached the MRT station and was super thirsty.
Unfortunately the small news stand kind of shop in the station was closed.
Was too tired to do a detour with all my barang just to get a drink so i resigned myself to quenching my thirst only when i get home.

Xiwen called and we started chatting and "shepherding" (haha).
After the call i went to get some cash from the ATM and amazingly when i passed the news stand again it was opened!
I thought it was closed for the day but i guess the shopkeeper only closed it for a quick toilet break.

So you see,
God, in His own little ways, answers your needs, especially, i think, when you do things that pleases Him.

You may say i'm reading too much into it,
but it's hard to explain when you don't actually already have a relationship with God.
Some things, you just know and feel

As much as my mind, at this point, cannot be fully convinced that God exists,
it cannot also be fully convinced that God doesn't exist.
And that makes all the difference.
Amen.