Deep Shit

For most of the week i've been pretty ill,
and as i patiently wait for the symptoms to go away and to do my best not to aggravate it,
it looks increasingly likely i'll not recover in time for the area contest on thurs.

i'm wondering if i should trigger the runner up to prepare taking over my place.
on one hand i have the club to think of,
if i'm not up for it, i should be gracious enough to let the slot go and let the best be represented.
and yet,
this isn't abt me.
This is a special msg,
and i need to do what it takes to get it heard.

you know it's bad when you're consoling a friend over the phone and every sentence is punctuated with a 5 second coughing fit,
until the consoled became the consoler and told me to go rest. haha.

that's how we can make others feel better,
by sounding like we're dying.
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As much as the week has been a physical wreck,
thank God i was in very high spirits.

The reason for the high spirits i can't say yet for now,
but it's got to do with the contest speech,
and the steps of faith God is walking along with me.

I can only just say it's an amazing experience to witness and be in the middle of love and kindness in action,
i'm in complete awe.

All glory to Him and Him alone.

i've finished reading the book on Mother Teresa's private letters to her bishops,
it's been an intense read.
i think i was virtually mourning when i got to the end of the book,
on the day "calcutta plunged into darkness due to a power failure, and the 2 backup generators the Sisters bought also failed to work, something that never happened before.

And on the night Calcutta was in darkness, the light that shone on so many lives, was also extinguished"

Reading Mother Teresa's letters was like going on the inner journey with her.
She's a true saint,
and just reading the book filled my heart with love, awe and inspiration.


In a dark time she is a burning and a shining light;
in a cruel time, a living embodiment of Christ's gospel of love;
in a godless time, the Word dwelling among us,
full of grace and truth.
For this, all who have the inestimable priviledge of knowing her,
of knowing of her,
must be eternally grateful.

-Malcolm Muggeridge on Mother Teresa

We're so fortunate to have her in our era.
If someone can have Saint faith, then we can have peanut faith.

the theme for this week is Love.
God has been filling my heart with Love,
a form of universal Love,
a love that transcends bodily forms and connects pple.
i'm humbled and overwhelmed.

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And just as spiritually i get fed with love,
physically i am getting eaten by some strange viral bug.

Mother Teresa would probably say offer this as a sacrifice to God so i'm not complaining.

i've never had such bad feverish muscle aches.
i was trying to think whether my juggling bag was THAT heavy and gosh how unfit am i really and are the new high heels really giving me such bad ankle strain,
until i tried to eat something so i can pop panadol,
and i found that even my jaw muscle ached when i chewed.

THAT's Bad.

I slept 22 hours last sunday.
some of those hours were on sat night.
Still,
I was only awake for 8 hours on sunday.
usually i'd get a headache if i slept so much, even when i'm ill,
but surprisingly i was quite comfortable sleeping so much.

And then the sore throat came and i dranked so much cooling tea,
now i have "cold cough".

the coughing fits are such that they don't stop until everyone in the mrt is convinced you have TB.

i don't know how i'm gonna make the stage on thurs.

PRAY!