Divine Secrets of the Yaya Bitches

Thanks god it's friday
not just because the weekend is here
but because A hole is gone

i'm surprised i'm still alive
it wouldn't be so
if i hadn't decided this morning that i've had enough shit
and i walked away
and stayed away

so the morning started out upsetting
but after keeping 10m away from shit zone for a few hours
i got calmer and it's just another day

on hindsight getting Aholed might actually have benefitted me
i can see my problem now (and it'll not be a problem no more)

i am an engineer.
i need to act like an engineer.
i need to dress like an engineer.
i need to talk like an engineer.
most importantly,

i need to believe i am an engineer.

and anything less is unacceptable.

I hope i never see A hole again
never say never but i really mean NEVER
cross my heart bless my soul
there's a chance we still might
and the next time i'll be ready for him
bring it on

i'm surprise by how much dislike i can have for someone
and all i did was spend one long day with him
condescending piece of poop.

W: You might be a little rude to him today.
Me: Yeah i'll admit that. but in my defence he was rude to me first.
W: You're supposed to be the bigger person here.
Me: i'm also the woman.

in his little obnoxious manner i dun even think he noticed my rudeness
which is fine
prob might save me some trouble
if he did
that'd be great too
frankly my dear, i dun give a damn

the more i write the more rage i feel rising again
i guess the bottled emotions from the morning is coming out








W knows i'm pissed
he says i'm letting Ahole get to me
and i shouldn't bring it home with me








Nice pple dun win
there's no place for niceness
it's not appreciated
it's a sign of weakness
defend yourself while you can

it's never my fault
never
ever

i haven't gotten to the stage of pointing fingers yet
not as in pushing the blame (but it's never my fault remember)
as in jumping on someone's mistakes
i dun want to get anyone fired

but who knows
maybe that's the next stage of yayahood

i need to speak louder
get myself heard
i'll add one decibel per month i'm here

by the time i get home i'll be one big screaming bitch

one day i'll look in the mirror
and i won't know who i am anymore
and this is where it all starts

welcome to the big 2-4.

be nice to those who are nice.
be hell to those who are hell.
that is the divine secret of a yaya bitch.

yaya.



----------------------
it just dawned on me
wouldn't it be obsene
if one day i find myself
turning into the exact Ahole i hate so much now

the vicious cycle of Aholes.

yaya.
----------------------

in the midst of this negativity
the silver lightning is that F and R have been real sweethearts
W too, sort of

most people here are nice
when they're not working

i'm sorry that to become the tougher person i'm determined to be
i'd have to do things differently
and not be as helpful to them as i was before
niceness is a sign of weakness

oh well

this has just been a horribly emotional week
touched by kindness
get bruised and battered
likely hormonal as well

I think W is surprised to see this side of me
how i can be so filled with hostility toward someone
i'm surprised too

oh well
yaya

on hindsight i didn't handle it well today
never show displeasure even if you're filled with it
take no shit from no one but dun be hostile
hostility begins behind the person's back.

speak with authority

be nice if you're not working
but where work is involved
niceness is a sign of weakness

slug it out as much as you take it in

i am never wrong until proven wrong
and if that ever happens i'll find a way to justify my words
because i'm never wrong

talk
even if no one is listening
just talk

what you say is not as important as how you say it

what you say is not as important as how you say it

what you say is not as important as how you say it

I am an engineer.

let the war begin.

tmrw, my voice goes up one decibel.
yaya.