Juggling without friends
is like Fann wong without hair

that shall be it then

it's getting late
my pumpkin time is coming
the lowdown of the week that passed

i realised that cycling to the nearest supermart is a pain
cos it's a gentle upslope all the way
so gentle i don't realise it when walking
but cycling is a pain in the butt

and then i realise
coming back is a breeze
i can virtually just cruise all the way home without pedalling
what joy
somemore got kick
from all that bread and milk hanging from my handlebars
resulting in erratic swings and balancing

i finally succumbed to the smell of Wendy's fries
so there i was
lazing on the couch
diet coke on my left
fries and burger on my right
watching a documentary on obesity
"why american women get fat and french women don't"

it made me feel guilty enough to head for the gym the next day
so here i am
aching like crazy from yesterday's workout
i ran (ok...JOG...ok...WALKED) 2.4 km and it barely burned my Wendy's burger i think

it was nice though
i feel healthy...mentally anyway...physically i feel like i just rolled down a hill

there was a girl at the gym, looks like the cheerleader sort...after her workout she put on her shades and drove off in her car...cool stuff....
and while i was huffing and puffing my 2 slabs of weights
2 American footballer-built guys came in and lifted 15 slabs of weights......each

i need new sporty shorts
only managed to grab 2 pairs of shorts from the cupboard before flying here.....
shorts my mom bought for me a long time ago.....
they look suspiciously like boxer shorts...

the weather here has been kind so far
i managed to cross the road and walk 10 min to the gym decked in my very uncool shorts without freezing my butt off
while pple up north are trying to dig their cars out of the snow
the cold front is coming down next week though
i hope it snows...considering how cold it's gonna get anyway
----------------------------------

SY says MJ has been juggling obsessively back home
"very fierce juggler"
he should probably just camp out at the esplanade
SY himself has been "juggling 70% of the time, 30% of the time other stuff"
and before i wrote wow he went "yeah much LOWER that before"

i started thinking back on the 3 of us
(nothing much to do on the threadmill)
how MJ graduated first and embarked on his choice of being a pro juggler
how i so admired his courage and determination especially when i'm disillusioned with homework

i may possibly be the only one, besides alan i guess, to view his choice without tainted eyes
i was supposed to join him on his ride
and i did for a while
it feels a bit like i've ditched him now

I wonder if i'll ever get back to performing and busking so unbashfully and enthusiastically again
it's like one of those silly things we do when we're young
not that i'm old now
and not that it's entirely silly
i kind of miss it
and yet it feels different...like more paisei now.....

some people who sometimes read my blog may have seen our performances before
and they're prob thinking "the show is a piece of crap"
and it probably is...haha...was anyway.
some of the shows were total embarassment....cringe-worthy...
part and parcel of starting out.....

SY's the next one now
i can see the parallel
disillusioned with homework, confused abt future, just wants to juggle....
i have a feeling he's not gonna take MJ's path much as he wants to
but hey,
who says the two can't go hand in hand
jolyon and jimmy seem to balance it well

so anyway, it's jus a thought
of how SY is busier now in his 3rd year
and i'm half the world away in my couch with my fries and burger
(watching why american women get fat and french women don't)
while MJ is at the esplanade, unrelentlessly still on the way to his original dream

it'll be cool if 20 years down the road
we get together again
like old birds who dun know they're old (a.k.a lao hiao)
and finish off what we never actually started.

i dun actually know what the previous paragraph means
we dun actually have something to finish or start
i just like the way that sounds
--------------------------------------------------

work has been alright.
it's a roller-coaster.

W and I are beginning to get on each others nerves more now
as expected when we work closely together for some time
at times i think i should just be a meano and slug it out
get toughened in the workforce
ditch niceness and wimpyness
but underneath he's alright
and he can get very nice and sweet
and then i'll start feeling blardy guilty

i think i need to be more firm and confident though
it's a lot of wayang
you can be 60% sure of something but when you say it with the right volume and right amount of conviction pple will probably think you're 90% sure.
Actually with the right volume and conviction you can say nothing and make it sound like something important.
Like SC says "this plant is so big you can probably spent one year walking around with a peice of paper before somebody realises you're not doing anything"

i dun really like to wayang
but i see how it helps
i dun like to be mean/tactless/pushy
but i see how it helps
one side of the coin says i'm losing my values
the other says i'm growing up

eat, or be eaten

roller-coaster...

sometimes i feel like
"damn! i really like this job!"
sometimes i feel like i'm so useless at it
part and parcel of starting out i guess.....
-------------------------------------------------

i'm getting fat here
French woman on telly says when she got back to france from america
her dad said she looks like a bag of potatos
J says when he first came here from canada he put on a lot of weight
"it's the fatty food here, especially the south!"
Mom says "you're not tall ah, so you can't put on weight!"

the ironic thing is
i think the main thing making me fat is not eating out
it's the fact that i like stocking up my kitchen
in case i wanna eat
even though i dun since i get back late and survive on cornflakes
which is fine
until everything edges towards expiry
and i have to finish it up
and then i have to stock up again
in case i wanna eat
even though i dun since i get back late and survive on cornflakes
which is fine
until everything edges towards expiry
and i have to finish it up
and then i have to stock up again
in case i wanna eat
even though i dun since i get back late and survive on cornflakes
which is fine
until everything edges towards expiry
and i have to finish it up
and then i have to stock up again
in case i wanna eat....
ad infinum

oh oh
pumpkin time!

quote of the week:

"It's all about looking fierce and having control on stage, otherwise the hecklers will eat you"
~Kumar
(this seems to work off stage as well i would think)

"When the hoof beats, don't just look for the horses. Look for the zebras too"
~woman on telly who got misdiagnosed by multiple doctors

oh yes
i find the Discovery Health channel horrific
it's a battle between curiosity and being grossed out

pumpkin time pumpkin time!!!