CLEAR MIND

stressed stressed.
within a week,
everything has gone up an ante for some strange reason.

i just accepted a freelance training assignment.
hahahahaha.
good stuff.
a fellow toastmaster who started his own training company is looking for trainers,
and we talked a bit and now i'm on board.

i've done a lot of 7 min speeches but not a full 6 hour training program,
but he thinks i'd be fine,
so hopefully i don't mess it up.

i wonder if this new road will bring me on a new wild adventure ride like the juggling gigs have done.

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just as abruptly,
an established fire dancer (with her own group/company) sms-ed me out of the blue and asked to talk abt the circus scene in singapore.

i've been pretty out of touch with juggling but maybe talking with her will ignite the fire again.

i just watched the IJA trailer youtube video.
Enjoyed it much but somehow i didn't feel that hunger to learn new tricks as would happen in the past.
so that's quite worrying.
then again the fire is not entirely gone,
there's still that closeness, that tender relational identity with the jugglers in the vid.

hmm.
maybe a bag of new tricks is what i need to propel me out of the plateau.

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work is going crazier.
projects are now not just back-to-back,
they're overlapping.

and since the projects are never smooth,
i have triple layer overlaps.

mega big mac.

i'm beyond the realm of stress.
yay.

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A very kind note i received from the president of a club i visited:

"Just a note to thank you for the very encouraging evaluation you presented last night.

i once heard someone described as having a 'very clear mind'. This I have always felt to be one of the highest compliment that can be paid to a person. And this is what I would say of you; that you have a 'very clear mind'. There is much we can learn from you."

a clear mind!
haven't heard of that description before.

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i've finished the triology.
the first book i read is still the best.

off the top of my head,
the only thing i remember from the last book i read now is
"it's none of your business who goes to hell"

which is to say,
it's not for us to judge who goes to hell.

and oh yes,
"my role as a Christian is to help pple know and love God, my focus is not on making them disrespect the Buddha or Muhammed"

we are blessed so we can bless.

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I just underwent a nervewrecking "event" last week.
twice.
something that has a lot of pain.
as in real physical pain.

no, i didn't get a tatoo.

just something with a lot of pain.

and i'm in the safe hands of an expert but still it's nervewrecking, it's painful and i'm just helpless.

i felt like i was in surgery,
and i wonder how many pple who has gone or going through major surgery,
will still resist the natural inclination to pray to a supernatural being?

i wonder if the die-hard atheists can still keep their stand.
most atheists i know have prayed to something supernatural at some point of their lives,
so i'd ask them to think again when they declare they don't believe in God.

i don't wish it upon them,
but it's times of extreme desperation that we get closest to realising our helplessness and our need for something bigger than ourselves.

anyhow,
as i was sitting there,
helpless, fearful, uncomfortable and quite bored actually,
i started singing hymns in my head and i could feel Him there. :D

Feeling the love is a wonderful thing. :)