Assignment from God

I was so pissed on Friday at work with someone,
that i could have killed a cow if it walked in.

he was completely unreasonable,
and his tone and attitude was unbelievable.

the setting was this.
he damaged some samples he was working on,
and in a completely, i swear, non-sarcastic, gentle kind tone, albeit tinged with some worry,
i asked him to be a bit more careful.

and he berated me like i just skinned his pet fish and ate it with wasabi.
and then he stormed off.

i was bottling up my rage so much i got a headache that afternoon.

i told shepherd my character is such that one day i'll explode.
i can usually take a lot of shit,
i let a lot of things go.
but keep jabbing and jabbing and jabbing me,
and one day my volcano will erupt.

Just talking abt the incident still makes me worked up,
so i know there's a lot of lava bubbling beneath.

In fact i got so worked up talking abt it with my parents,
i made THEM worked up,
and they started quarrelling abt something else unrelated and minor.

i was sitting there reading the papers thinking "oops what have i done"
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"what if you see him in heaven next time?" shepherd asked.
"haha, and he says, i'm the angel God sent to test you, and you FAILED"

well it was kind of impressed upon me in church that it could be an assignment from God.
and what a huge one.
man if he can change, it's really mountains moving.

and if God can use ME to change him,
that would be one of the most amazing things i'll ever witness.

but it's so huge i know i can't do it on my own.
i'm completely clueless on how to relate to him.
and i think that may be what God wants me to know too.

it's team work.
it's a game. an assignment.
and if i erupt or lose myself,
i lost the game.

The Lord will deliver.

He has done it before,
He will do it again.
Somehow.

the next time that guy becomes unreasonable again,
and it will happen,
i'll have to remember God standing there,
watching how i react.
maybe i'll give a little smile, a little nod, a little wink to God,
and maybe he'll freak out thinking i've gone crazy.
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Poot and I played golf on sat.
we coincidentally wore matching bright pink tops,
and i wore black berms and she wore white berms.

we were like tag team jie mei hua.

as we walked into the driving range,
there was a huge banner.
"Her World Golf Carnival"
and there was a bright pink carpet rolled out.

"shit poot, we look like we're here for the carnival!"
"we're going to appear on Her World!"
"and i can't play golf for nuts"

it was ok whacking balls.
i hit one that was so crooked the boy at the next bay turned to look at me.

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Poot and i started talking abt friendships over dinner.

the nostalgia that periodically comes has arrived.

She talked abt how I was one of few friends she has no pressure when meeting up,
we just talked and laughed abt everything.
from guys to erm, toys, and
and other really funny stuff i can't write.

"the best thing abt your cross, is that you've stopped becoming nuah abt meeting up"

wanyi also suddenly emailed out of the blue,
and i told her there are some frens you don't keep in touch much but when you meet you can still talk like you've been in touch forever.
it's a sign of deep frenship,
and she was in that category.

wanyi just called from UK and we spoke for 2 hours. :)
"wanyi! it's you! i thought it was the old guy fren i was talking with over msn and i thought wah he really so on call my house"

Incidentally,
i was msn-ing that fren abt happiness and he sent me the link of Michael W smith's Friends song.

Jen also suddenly sms-ed.
Just as i was thinking abt how long we haven't kept in touch already.

angie and shimei have become closer.
angie gives some of the best advice i've ever heard,
it makes sense, changes my perspective in a sec, and she gets to the root of the problem.
helps too that she's my makeover consultant.

there are so many more pple i feel so lucky to have ard.
and i'll spend the whole night writing if i have to write them all.
the pri sch mates, weips/alia and gang, jialu and other jc pple,
and all the other pple i'll always have a soft spot for.

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Looking back, i think some of the friendships were cemented while i was going through some terrible shit.

so shit's not always that bad.

time for work monday.
not really looking fwd.

sigh.

if the Lord's for you, who can be against you.
what can man do to me?